What makes a bird sing
by msarahv
Summary: Will is a melancholic, shy young man. He meets Sonny and befriends him. It's a quiet bittersweet fic. The pace will be slow.
1. Chapter 1

Will was seating at his desk, looking out the window. It was dusk and the wind was pushing the remaining leaves on the ground, the one he had forgotten to sweep. The garden was bare and cold-looking. His mother was out at a cocktail party for work. She had managed as always to make herself look smashing, hiding the wear of her face, the shadows under her eyes that she got trying and manage it all. Will helped as much as he could, but she had put her foot down at some point. His studies were important. Enjoying his youth was important. So, here he was, his books open, his attention drifting after two hours focusing. A bird started singing outside, a heartfelt, simple melody, with shrill notes, that made it happy. Will felt melancholic. Youth was turning out to be less easy than it had seemed. For example, girls. He liked girls. Hanging out with them was fun. Wanting to kiss them didn't occur though and after some soul-searching, he had sat his mother down and told her that he was thinking of trying it with men instead. She had resisted, hard at first, and when he didn't cave, she had backed off, seemingly keeping her thought to herself and they lived in that awkward balance, full of love, but also of incomprehension. Her main argument was that he hadn't tried yet, that if he did, he might realize he was mistaken. With girls, she meant. But truth was he hadn't with anyone. So she could be right.

It was a small house they were all tucked in. His mother had married twice and never to his father. Now she was alone and his siblings were growing up. Filling the house with cries and running down the many stairs. Will didn't believe in love. But he dreamt of it. A manuscript lay beside him, filled with a story that would never happen, where he met someone who would make his life better because he would think Will was the most important person on the planet.

He decided to take a walk before dark, to clear his head of the hopes and sorrows that were nested in here, like a big sad bird with a broken voice. He went to the park at the end of the street. The real bird had followed him there, or it was another one and Will whistled in accompaniment, aware that this one had a busy little life and had chosen to be happy about it. He could build a bird feeder with his brother and sisters and hang it outside. They could paint it in bright colors to attract the bright birds. The one he was listening to came flying just under his eyes. He was all red, even the beak and sported a crest that made it look quite cocky. Will smiled and walked on, pressing his jacket against his chest. He should have taken his winter coat. He was about to turn around when he saw someone on one of the bench.

If that man had been a bird, he would have been a raven or a crow. Because of his dark crumpled hair, like creased wings, but also because of the way his head was bent, supported by big, virile hands. He looked like he had given up and Will didn't want to turn his back to him and leave him there with his worries. He sat, careful not to make any noise, his hands in his pockets, shivering lightly under the strengthening whiffs of wind.

After a minute or so, the fingers changed positions, allowing Will to spot a brown eye looking sideways. He looked ahead, not sure if he could intrude. Maybe the man wanted solitude. Maybe he would get up and go to another bench, or even walked out of the park. When he was sure both of them weren't moving, he smiled just a little and turned his head a quarter of an inch:

"Hello", said the stranger. He looked surprised but not guarded, so Will relaxed a little

- Hello.

- You look cold.

- You look sad."

The man managed a smile, while his eyes were still sad. He sighed and sat uptight, his back now against the wood and the metal. Will had avoided the cold contact and suggested, as if in passing:

"We can go have a drink somewhere and you can tell me why you're sad?

- You might not want to hear it."

There was hope in the man's voice, prompting Will to answer:

"Give me the benefit of the doubt. I'm not in a great mood myself and tonight, I'm on my own."

The man looked at him thoughtfully, weighing him down. Then, he nodded and got up. They walked in silence. Will had taken note of the new coffee place a few streets away and intended to try it so now was the moment. He gestured to it and saw the man hesitate, then give in.

It was warm inside, but not too heated. They could come here for Allie's birthday. He could ask if they did cakes. Their mother didn't. She couldn't even cook pastas. On the list of things to do as an adult, Will had "learn how to cook" somewhere. If he was to live alone he would have to, not to spend too much. He had no clear idea of what he would do. So he was studying economics. It was down-to-earth, far from the dreams he was living in, most of the time.

He sat in front of him, him he still called "the man" and defied his shyness once again:

"My name is Will, short for William.

- I'm Jackson, but you can call me Sonny."

Will put his head on his hand and looked straight in the brown eyes. They looked a little cheerier or maybe it was his imagination, hard to say. He went on:

"So, what is putting you down? A woman? Or is it your job?

- Neither. There's no woman in my life and my job is doing fine.

- So, what is it? You can tell me anything. I'm a stranger, you don't have to hide or pretend.

- What were you doing in that park if you're a stranger?

- I was following a bird song. I live here but I don't think we've met before.

- No, we haven't. I would have remembered. I'm good with faces.

- I'm not. But I'm good with expressions and you look like talking would do you some good.

- You're not going to let this go, are you?

- Nope. I don't have lots of people to confide in either. There's my grandma but she's in Europe now.

- How old are you, Will?

- 19. And you?

- I'm 23. You look younger.

- I know. My mom appreciates it, it makes people think she's younger too."

He chuckled and Will had won. He waited. Sonny, of the bright, funny name, and the bright, friendly smile, would open up. Will's body was relaxed, as it hadn't been for a while. Maybe it was the coffee-house atmosphere, intimate and colored at the same time. Maybe it was the pride of having acted out of concern. He didn't make many friends, not real ones. He kept big parts of him secret and it impeded on his freedom of movement. So, he understood the restraint the man was showing. He studied his traits. He was handsome but there was something more. Even looking gloomy, he carried an energy that blew Will away. He wanted to know why, to reach him, to find out what explained the warmth in the dark eyes.

He was studied back and a sparkle appeared in these very eyes. Then Sonny talked, and Will forgot himself for a moment:

"I've been facing a ghost, recently. Someone from my past I had almost forgotten about. Someone I'd left behind.

- What does he want?

- _She_ wants me to be with her. And I can't. Things have changed and she doesn't get it. She's been very insistent. I've spent two hours talking her out of killing herself.

- Holy crap! I can see why you're down...

- I'm feeling a little better actually. Thanks for listening. So what about you? What are you hiding?

- I'm not sure you'd be interested to know.

- That's not fair. I opened up, now it's your turn."

A barista brought two cups of coffee and placed them on the small table. Will inhaled the intoxicating smell of his dark coffee and frowned when he saw Sonny's cup.

"I don't recall you ordering. How did she know? The place just opened and you're already a regular?

- Not really, no. Although I think your order will be easy to remember. You don't like fancy coffees?

- No, just the basic stuff. I'm easy to please.

- I'll keep that in mind. But you've changed the subject. What are your ghosts?

- None, really. I just feel out-of-place, sometimes. I'm quiet, so life tends to pass me by. I don't want to make mistakes but if I don't make any, how will I know who I am?

- Well, you are a kind soul, for one. And observant, too. Thanks again for your time.

- Sure, maybe we'll meet again, who knows?

- It depends how much you like coffee."

And with that, Sonny got up and went behind the counter to take something. Will looked at the barista, as she barely acknowledged it. So, he was working here. Well, Will liked coffee a lot. And he liked Sonny too. Maybe, he could make a friend, a real one this time.

Sonny came back with a muffin and hold it to Will:

"There, hope you like blueberry.

- I do, thank you. Is it baked here?

- Yes. These are the easiest for me. I hope you'll like it.

- If I do, will you teach me how to bake?" Will paused. The man must be very busy. He was assuming...

- That's a deal. Come back when you want, I'm often here.

He grinned fully and Will caught his breath. He nodded and walked to the door. When he got there, Sonny handed him his coat.

- Here, you'll need it. It's even colder out.

- No, it's OK, I don't live that far. Keep it.

- I live upstairs and I have another coat. That way, I'm sure I'll see you again.

- Are you that desperate for new customers?

- Absolutely."

Will moved on the side, not wanting to hug the man, not wanting to just go out. So, he held his hand awkwardly. Sonny's skin was soft and his grip was firm. Will liked that. He walked out, in the windy and cloudy night and walked home. The birds were silent now, it was time to go to sleep. But Will felt he had gotten past his melancholic state, and felt hopeful for the future. He would have to return the coat to its owner. He opened the front door, whistling again, a smile on his soul.


	2. Chapter 2

His sister Allie was back the next day. She hugged their mother, Sami, who squeezed her so much, Allie had to say:

"Mom, you're hurting me." Sami released her grip and sniffed. She wasn't one for doing things half-way.

- I've missed you so much, my baby. Did you enjoy your week with your dad?" Allie looked sideways at Will. He grinned and nodded.

- It was great mom! He took me ice-skating everyday. He says, I should take lessons, because I'm so good at it."

What Will was good at was not to show how he felt when he heard that. He hadn't bothered putting "learn how to skate" on his list. You could be an adult without that. Lucas had tried, for a while, to make up for the lost years. He had given up when Will had asked him to. He wasn't a kid anymore, it was too late. His father didn't know him, it was fine. But he had stopped going. It hurt to see Allie share this bond with him and stand there, like a stranger to his own family. Sami wasn't perfect but the way she didn't tiptoe around him made feel Will intimate. She was his mother, he was her son, so no need to handle him like a fragile possession. He knew very well that he was fragile, though. So, he let Sami and Allie reconnect and get some alone-time before the arrival of their sibling from another father the next day and went to the bookstore.

It was one of those place that you wonder how they still exist, how they make a profit. Only second-hand books, the one that had been loved by others, that had been handled. Will could afford new ones, but he liked those more. Once every week, he bought one and read it whenever his eyes got tired by the glow of the computer screen. When he went to bed and he needed to put his lonely feelings at bay. He chose one called _On the road_. He had heard about it. He was reading the summary on the back page, squinting his eyes to decipher the words on the used cover, while closing the glass door behind him, which made the bell chimes as always, when a hand patted his shoulder, soft as a bird. He looked up and saw a cocky smile. He remembered the red, crested bird and smiled back. Sonny looked different, this morning. Apparently, he healed fast. Will envied him that.

"Are you looking for books?" Will asked, hoping he would say yes and they had that in common. But Sonny shook his head.

- No, I just saw you. I'm headed to the post office.

- Oh." Will was disappointed but he didn't feel like letting him go. He liked the informality of this meeting, as if they were friends already. So he proposed "You mind company?"

Sonny smiled even more, then said, gently

"Sure. I got lost the last time I went there. Maybe you can guide me?

- Have you lived here long?" Sonny shook his hair again and Will felt himself blushing. He was the one asking questions but the stare he was under was asking questions of his own and he didn't know which ones. Sonny finally answered

- About a month. I came before to see how the builders were working. It took a long time, but now we've opened and it seems we struck gold."

Will laughed. It seemed Sonny's presence was alighting his spirits, whatever he said. They started walking and passed one of the tree form the park. Will looked up but saw a new bird, this one yellow. This one wasn't singing, it was moving its head comically, with quick, weird movements. Will pointed him silently to his walking companion. Sonny followed the direction with keen eyes and Will saw him beam. The smile he addressed Will felt too much, too overwhelming.

They reached the post office five minutes later and Will stopped.

- You see, next time, you won't need help." Sonny's eyes sparkled.

- It's a pity then. So, when will I see you at Common Grounds?

- Hum... Soon. I still have your coat. It's very warm." Not as warm as these dark brown eyes.

Now Will was sweating. He stepped backward and said

- Have a good day!" and practically ran away.

Back at home, he took the coat in his arms. Maybe, he could put it on the coat rack at the coffee-house when no one was looking. Sonny had noticed him in the street but if he was working and busy... The coat made a creasing sound. Will fished in one of the inside pocket and found a postcard. He shouldn't be reading it. But he did anyway, fascinated. It was signed Crystal, with a little heart after. It said things Will wanted to write someone. It wasn't very good prose but it must have done the trick if Sonny had kept it. There was something else in the pocket. A map. It had been used a lot, like the book that was in Will's pocket. It had strange concentric circles and annotations he didn't know. There were pencil lines all over it and Will put it on his desk, to look at it and dream.

Sami came into his bedroom and kisses his temple

"You're still working for this exam... Are you anxious?"

Will nodded. Sami had moments of subtlety and kindness that had to be fully appreciated. Will massaged his forehead and asked

"You need help?

- Not really. I thought I would take you and Allie out tonight, maybe to the diner that she likes so much?

- As long as it's not a fast-food place, I'm in.

Will loved all his siblings, but in her quiet way, Allie was the one he related to the most. And she loved him back, being the only one in the world to think he was marvelous. He felt like a giant when she looked up at him. So, when she asked him for another place to go, before coming home, as it was still early and it wasn't as if Sydney was here, they were all quite old now (Will didn't fight the smile. She was ten, she didn't know what old was. He didn't even know), Will said the first thing that crossed his mind.

"There's the new coffee place, on the main road.

- There is?" Sami worked in the city. She didn't walk around the house as much as Will did. He felt proud to have something to show him, a finding. So much that he forgot until they had crossed the threshold

"Will?" The voice was singing almost. Sonny's smile filled the room.

Sami and Allie looked at Will who fidgeted on his feet, trying not to look too much into Sonny's eyes. He was going backward in this budding friendship. The more confident Sonny was getting, the more withdrawn it made Will. He couldn't believe he had had the nerve to make him confess private painful things just a few days ago. He thought about the postcard. And about the coat

- We just ate out and I wanted to show the coffee-house to my sister Allie."

Sonny turned his brightness to Allie and Will felt less strung, but also lost, back in his shadows. Sami shook Sonny's hand after her daughter did and started chatting. It was easy for her. Sonny seemed to like her and Will prepared to be sidetracked by his own Mom. She was bright too and loud and present. That's how she managed well in her field, that's how Will felt second violin in his own life.

Sonny had given them his best table. He brought some chocolate to Allie with the drawing of a cat and she was hooked too. Will decided to ask her and Sami

"What do you say you have your birthday party here, Allie?

- Yes, I'd like that" she answered, looking around with her usual reserve. Will could see she was happy.

Sami had ordered a latte and Will hadn't say anything. He wasn't disappointed. Sonny put the black plain coffee in front of him, with a chocolate muffin next to the plate. He didn't look at Will and asked

"Would you ladies like something to eat too?

- No, thank you Sonny. We just ate dinner and I have to look after my figure.

- Now, that is impossible, Ma'am. You look fantastic. And may I add, way too young to be the mother of so many children. Do you have a secret?"

Sami was beaming. Will smirked and looked away. Allie hadn't answered, so Will cut the muffin in half and offered it to her. She smiled at him. Will plucked his courage and looked at Sonny. He was staring again

"So, it's on the house. I'm glad to have meet you all. I hope you'll visit once in a while.

- With such a welcome, how could we not? Don't you think so, Will?"

Will looked down at his coffee, wishing he was alone with Sonny to recapture this moment of easiness, this meeting of two souls. Now, he was embarrassed, reminded of his limitations. He looked longingly at the figure of Sonny retreating and greetings new customers.

Allie saved him, without knowing it, when she yawned. Sami frowned

"Did your dad pay attention to your bedtime, honey?

- He said it's the holidays. That it's funny to talk late." Sami shook her head and sighed.

- We'll leave now, Will. Don't forget to lock when you come home."

Will looked at them get out of the door in a daze. He was wondering if he should go too, but Sonny sat in front of him. Having him at his level helped a lot. Will fiddled with his napkin and asked

"So, how is she? The girl you were worried about?" Sonny looked at him thoughtfully.

- A little better. Thank you for asking."

There was an awkwardness now. Will wanted to ask about the map, about the girlfriend but he couldn't. All other questions seemed dull. Sonny coughed

"So, you like to read a lot?

- Oh, hum... yeah, I like to read. But it's not my only interest.

- Bird watching?" Will looked up, startled.

- You remember?

- You reminded to listen to the bird song and to take a breath, look around. I needed that. I've worked hard to open this place but I've forgotten to enjoy simple things. You have helped me in many ways." he placed his hand on Will's. A tickling current went from it to Will's veins. Maybe now he was glowing, like a lamp. He slid his hand away and put it on his knees. Sonny got up

"So, I'll see you around?

- Yes, yes, sure... Hum...

- Yes?

- Nothing." Sonny sat back and looked at him with a straightforwardness that helped. Will smiled shyly. "Your muffins are delicious and if... But I don't think you have time for it, so..."

Sonny was still staring, his eyes digging holes in Will's mind. He whispered

"I have time for you. Come back tomorrow. It's my day off. I'll teach you."

Will went home and put the coat next to his bed, not to forget it the next day. The house was silent, expect from the cracking of woods that he had grown used to. There was one howl, outside. Every night, the same bird, the same spot. Wherever he slept, Will heard the lament, regular and deep. He focused on it, on the quiet that he hated and craved for. Tomorrow, he would bake, for the first time ever.


	3. Chapter 3

Will didn't like mirrors. They made him look one-dimensional, limited to a pale washy exterior, when he knew that he had colors on the inside, worlds of beauty hidden in his imagination. But, for once, he stood before the big one, in the bathroom, looking at himself from head to toe. He looked OK. No crumpled shirt, no strange color association. He wouldn't stand out in the streets and that's what he was aiming at. Passing.

He went out the main door and heard two little birds in a tree. They were singing loudly, as if competing, out of tune with each other. Will wanted one of them to fly away and find another tree where it could be the only master, the only singer. But they kept on their vocal battle and he left them here.

Sonny had said to come around three. It was five to. Will was very punctual. Maybe it would bother Sonny. But if he came later, it might be too late and he would regret this. So, he entered the coffee-house just as his watch was showing three. Sonny was there, or so it seemed. There was a back bent, over apron-wearing legs and it was familiar. There was the sound of broken glass being scraped from the floor.

Sonny's voice came, filled with stress and anger

"Is nothing going to be working good today? Can't you be more focused?"

A young woman was running from one table to the other. She came back to the counter as Will was approaching and answered

- I'm sorry Sonny, I am. We're so short-staffed, today."

She saw Will and smiled, waving him to go sit. He gestured towards Sonny's still bent shape. She called him

- Sonny, there's someone to see you..."

Will waited as Sonny slowly got up, his back turned to him, grumbling

"What is it this time? If it's not important, they can wait?" With that he turned, facing Will who had his hand gripped on the coat. Sonny's face changed immediately to a shy smile, but Will put the coat on the counter and said

"Sorry to bother you. I won't...

- No, Will, I'm sorry, I didn't mean..." he said the last words to Will's retreating back. If he could have run outside, he would have.

Once back in the street, he walked fast, not caring where to, just making sure to leave the place far behind. He had presumed too much. People had lives, busy ones. He couldn't ask them to pause for him. He was glad he had given back the coat. He might not have to come back, ever. The map would remain a mystery and...

He stopped, dead in his track. The map was home, on his desk, along with the postcard. He took his head in his hands. How stupid... He had created a complex situation, out of nothing, sheer curiosity and lack of control. He turned back, then turned again, not knowing how to act, what to do. It was getting colder and none of the shops were open. He walked on, fighting the wind, hating his tears, hating his over-sensitive heart.

"Will!"

No, it wasn't real. He was putting words in the wind's howl.

"Will, wait! Please!"

But the wind was literate and knew many words. Will wanted to pretend he didn't hear anything. But he remembered hearing tiredness in Sonny's tone earlier. He slowed down, to a halt. The trick was to make the sweeping movement over his face natural. He wasn't crying that hard, Sonny may not notice.

"Will, I didn't know it was you. That's why I was crossed. I don't work today, and everything went wrong. And I saw the time pass and I knew I wouldn't be ready for you, and...

- But you don't have to. We can postpone. Or never do it. Your work comes first and you look exhausted. Don't mind me. It isn't important."

Sonny's eyes were open wide. He looked a little like the first time Will had seen him. Vulnerable. Not like a raven this time but like an eagle with a limp.

"It is important to me, Will. I want to spend time with you. Forget about my work for a while, forget what's dark in my life, do something fun for a change." Will smiled.

- You think baking is fun?" Sonny let out a sigh. He must have been running to catch Will.

- I do. And you're fun too." Will had a wry smile

- You're just trying to make me change my mind.

- Is it working?"

Will hesitated. He knew the danger of expecting too much, of being let down by others, like his father. But Sonny's expression was one of one in need and Will could go on with that. If people needed him, he had a place, a purpose. He offered a smile and saw Sonny's shoulder droop.

They walked back to the street where the coffee place stood but Sonny turned before the entrance in a little alley that led to the backyard. There were stairs, leading to a balcony. Sonny opened the door and showed Will in.

Because Sonny made the muffins at work, Will had assumed they would go to the professional kitchen to do this but Sonny had taken him to his apartment. It felt weird as if he was entering someone's head and he tried not to look around, focusing on Sonny's features, on the way his energetic steps made his body almost jump, as he opened his cupboards and started taking things out. He was still wearing his apron and handed another to Will. It was one of these funny ones, surely a gift. Maybe from his girlfriend.

Sonny started whistling and Will grimaced. Sonny looked like a bright bird but he couldn't carry a tune. He joined him, trying to subtly correct the melody and Sonny turned sparkling eyes to him. They both grinned. Sonny put the eggs and sugar on the table, then took a box that sent thin white powder everywhere.

The wheat was hard to fight against. It deposited its tiny particle everywhere it could and Will and Sonny were becoming snowmen fast. The white in Sonny's hair made him look older. Will chuckled and kept pouring it in the scale.

"Can't you see that's too much?

- No, not before I've read the scale." He chuckled again. Sonny had white on his cheek now.

- You could make muffins for twenty people with that."

Sonny caught the box and put some of the content back. He showed Will how to mix the baking powder, which looked almost the same, albeit whiter and more compact, then sat directly next to Will on the same chair. Will's body went through a series of short spasms that he had to control quickly and discreetly. He didn't like the proximity but Sonny had gotten hold of an egg and a container.

"I'm going to teach you something primordial to baking, so you better focus.

- I'll focus better if I have room to move my arms.

- Well, I need to help you through it. It will be faster that way."

He placed the egg in Will's hand.

"Careful" He whispered next to Will's ear.

The warning was unnecessary. Will's arm was petrified. Sonny slowly turned the egg

"You must press it only at the top, that's where it's the most solid. Between your fingers, like that.

- It won't break?

- No. It's only fragile in the middle. But when you break it, you have to be careful with the shell. If you leave some in the mix, the whole mix will be spoilt. This is a practice egg." The hair along Will's arm was standing. He swallowed with difficulty. Sonny went on

"The trick is to break it with one strong movement, but not too strong."

He caught Will's hand and demonstrated. The egg broke in half, the liquid pouring down the bowl. Sonny caught it and showed it to Will

"You see", he pointed "those are shell pieces. We can salvage them with a spoon."

Will was about to faint. Luckily, Sonny had to get up to fetch the spoon and didn't sit back. Will carefully took the offending shell out and waited. Sonny handed him a new egg and a new bowl. Will frowned

"You really need one bowl per egg?" Sonny laughed and Will felt light as a feather.

- No, you don't. But it's your first time, so I'm cautious. You're on your own for this one."

Will focused. The egg broke perfectly. He realized his tongue was sticking out and blushed. Sonny grinned and added the second egg's content to the first one. After a long set of manipulations, the butter came in and things started going awry. Their hands were sticky and the apron and shirt quite dirty. Will had managed to knocked down every single thing on the table with elbows he didn't know where to put. Sonny laughed so hard, he had to sit down. On another chair this time. Will pouted and mischievously ran his hand along Sonny's cheek. Sonny gave a start and looked at Will

"You have flour there. Buggers me seeing it.

- Well, now I'm covered with muffin mix, how is that better?

- Sorry..." Sonny shook his head and pointed to a closed door

- Go and tidy up in here. I'll use the kitchen sink."

Will went into the bathroom. The mirror greeted him with a very different sight than that morning. He was grateful for the apron, at least his jeans were still clean. It was difficult to really take everything out, so he concentrated on his hair and face, so as to look human again.

Sonny's head popped in

"I can lend you a shirt if you want." Will shrugged

- No, it's OK, thanks. Are we finished?

- Nope, time to use the oven now. But normally that's the clean part.

- What is that supposed to mean?" Sonny just chuckled and left. Will dried his hands and came back to the kitchen.

Will made efforts to earn Sonny's respect and managed not to stain anything or anyone for the last part. He smiled proudly as he looked through the oven window to the browning dish. Sonny was cleaning the table and held a hand in refusal when Will proposed his help.

So he sat on a chair and finally looked around. There were many things hanging on the walls. Photos, posters, drawings, all framed. Will wondered if Sonny's girlfriend had helped. Did she come here often?

He felt the spasms again and started being afraid. What was wrong with him. He moved on the couch and felt something under his butt. A cellphone vibrating. It said 'Crystal'.

His guts twisted in his belly. He had forgotten about the postcard. How could he confess to that? Would Sonny feel betrayed? He showed him the phone and Sonny went to take the call in his bedroom. It was weird to have put it on silence, but Will was too busy feeling guilty to try to know why.

He took his book from his own coat and sat to read a little more. There was a red feather to mark the page, one he had found in the garden while sweeping the leaves. He was taken out of his reading trance when he heard shouting. He took a few steps towards Sonny's bedroom, then changed his mind. He felt trapped. The muffins smell was permeating the room. He knelt before the oven to check them. They looked almost black and he panicked. He looked around frantically for mittens, cursing himself for having dare tried learning something. He should stick to school material.

He was taking the dish out just as Sonny reentered the room.

"What are you doing Will?" The tone was rash and Will looked down, ashamed.

- It looked all black. But now, it doesn't, I don't get it." Will put the dish on the kitchen counter, clumsily. Sonny frowned, took out the mittens from Will's hand, put them on and put the dish back in the oven.

- The window has a dark filter, that's why. You should have waited." Will gulped. Sonny sounded weary.

- I know, you're right, I'll just go..." He grabbed his coat. Sonny took a big breath.

- I'm sorry Will, I shouldn't have shouted. I know you've never done this and it's not a big deal if it's not perfect or even eatable at all. You haven't ruined all chances, anyway." He looked at Will with peace-searching eyes and added "You want some tea?"

Will agreed. They tried talking again, but there was a strain in the conversation and once he had emptied his mug, he said good-bye.

"You don't want to taste your batch?

- I'd rather not. They must be awful. But I'll try again at home. If I make progress, I'll bring you some." He saw Sonny smile widen.

- I'm glad to hear you say that.

- Say what?

- That you'll see me again."

Will wasn't used to people being happy to see him again, expect for his siblings. Even his mother never really showed it. He bit his upper lip, then the bottom one. A ding sound alerted them. Sonny retrieved the muffins from the oven and from the mold. There were eight of them, all looking tasty.

"Take them home, Will. Children aren't very diplomatic. You'll soon know how good they really are."

Will laughed and took the batch with him. Sonny followed him out and shook his hand. They exchanged a last look, then Will was gone.


	4. Chapter 4

Sami was ready to leave when Will came back home. She wore a little black dress that showed plainly that she was still in her thirties. Sometimes, Will felt guilty that his coming so early in her life had robbed her of her own youth. Was it the reason she was single now? He'd never know.

"I won't come late, I think, Will. After all this is a first date." She didn't remark on Will's red cheek. She never did. "Make sure the kids don't eat all the pudding. I won't be able to go for groceries until Tuesday."

- OK. Have fun."

She went and kiss the kids good-bye. Sydney had her mouth full and happily said:

"Will made those, you know, mom! They are so good! You should bake muffins too!" Sami kissed her youngest and shook her head.

- Mommy's not very good at cooking, sweetie.

- Will is," said Allie with a serious air. "Sonny taught him." Sami had a thoughtful smile.

- Looks like you found a valuable friend, Will. Don't hesitate to invite him, here." Will said nothing.

After their mother left, Will opened the book he had found at the library with Allie, on how to build bird feeder. There were drawings and long explanations and Johnny got excited he could use his new toolbox he got at Christmas

"Remember, Johnny, you've got to share. I'm sure Allie will want to use the tools too.

- But she's a girl!" Will put the book down and looked straight in his brother's eyes.

- I think we need to have a discussion on genders, young man." He turned to Allie who was very quiet.

- You don't have to use them, if you don't want to, Allie. I just want you to participate they way you want to." She smiled shyly and Will brushed her cheek.

- I want to use the tools to!" shouted Sydney. Will laughed at her enthusiasm and took her on his lap.

- I'm afraid you're too young for that. Johnny wasn't allowed to use a hammer when he was our age. I wasn't either.

- You were my age?" She did a face that had them all laugh out loud.

Will had put the girls to bed and take some time with Johnny to explain the danger of restricting gender-behavior, trying very hard to say it clearly and simply. He wished someone had done this for him at the same age. Explain that some boys could be soft-spoken and quiet without being deficient. After all, the very virile Sonny wanted to be friends with him. Of course, they had met when Sonny was down, but he was pursuing him. Will went to bed feeling warm inside.

The next day, he stared at the map on his desk and ran scenarios in his head. He didn't want to use the little sister excuse. He wouldn't stoop to that level "It must have fallen on the floor." Yes, that could work. But did he want to cheat so early in this relationship? Sonny had flaws too, as he had just witnessed. Will was used to anger. His mom erupted regularly and never gave up until you caved. But Will could be stubborn too.

On Friday night, he clenched his teeth and opened Common Ground's door. Sonny was nowhere to be seen and Will felt his resolution weaken. He walked to the counter and smiled at the barista. She looked way less stress than the last time. She smiled back and said

"Black cup of joe for you, right?

- Hum, yes, how did you know?

- I served you the first time you came here.

- Oh, sorry, I guess I didn't pay attention." he took out his wallet, calculating a nice tip to leave her but she put her hand on his

- No need. You don't pay." Will froze, trying to make sense of what she said. She pointed her finger up.

- I think you can try your luck. He spoke of you just earlier."

Will stood at the start of the stairs, unsure. He wished he had Sonny's cell number. But there was no way he could ask for it. He was about to turn around and go home when the door opened. Sonny opened his mouth in a round O. He ran down the stairs and hugged Will.

He felt stiff as a board. Sonny's body was warm and firm against him and it was a relief that it didn't last long.

"Come in, Will!

- I don't want to bother you. I thought you were working. Just had something to tell you." Sonny let Will in and asked with excitement

- Sure! What is it about?"

Will took a deep breath. Sonny deserved the truth. And the choice whether to forgive him afterward.

"I found something in your coat the other day. And I forgot to put it back. I apologize." He handed the two items to Sonny who grabbed the postcard and read it. His eyes softened and he went from bright red bird to pensive owl in seconds. Will put the map on the kitchen counter and waited for his fate.

Sonny took his coat and put the postcard back in the same pocket. He turned to Will and asked

- You read it?" Will shrugged.

- Yeah, sorry.

- It's OK. I understand." Sonny landed gracefully on his couch. Will didn't know what was happening. Sonny looked sad. Because he had to break their friendship?

As Sonny stayed silent, Will tried a new approach:

"Your barista downstairs...

- Lorna.

- OK. She said... I didn't have to pay?" Sonny looked up.

- You're a VIP customer. At least in my establishment." Will chuckled at the pretentious wording. He tried to express his gratitude, for the preferential treatment, for the kind gaze Sonny was bestowing, which said without word that things were fine, but he didn't dare speak.

"You want to go out?

- What?" Will frowned. Sonny's offer was spontaneous. But it was a loaded question, words used in different circumstances.

- Where to?

- I don't know? Is there a dance club somewhere near?" Will sat and said quickly, before he couldn't:

- There is, but I've never been there.

- Why?

- I don't know how to dance?" Sonny cocked an eyebrow.

- I will have to teach you everything, then? What will you ever teach me?" Will looked at his hands on his knees. He didn't have much to offer, he was aware of that. His only craft was painting his own mind with inner fireworks. And listening to birds. He didn't even know their names.

Sonny took his hand:

"Come on, Will, I was kidding. You're a great friend, really. Let's postpone the outing. Do you like to go the movies?"

It was another tough subject. Will knew the big multiplex theater. He had taken his siblings there a few times. But he wouldn't go on his own. His taste led him elsewhere, in smaller rooms where he was the only teen, most of the time. He tried his luck anyway. At least it was in the neighborhood, he could argue that:

"I mostly attend the art-house. I like independent and foreign movie. And you?" Sonny grinned

- I have varied taste. Saw a lot of foreign movies when I was... well abroad! Some are fantastic. You've got their number? Or are they closed on Fridays?"

They walked alongside, hands in their coats, shoulders grazing at times, to the building. It was old but unimpressive.

"It could do with some fresh paint.

- It's an association. Doesn't make much profit. They don't do discounts for students. But the tickets are cheap actually.

- As long as there's popcorn, I think I'll be OK." Will laughed. They stopped at the stand. Will wasn't hungry. His stomach was in a state of unrest for some reason, so he just bought a bottle of water.

Sonny sat on the folding chair and patted on the next one. He looked grave for a moment

"I have to warn you Will." Will didn't want to be warned. He wanted things to be simple and they weren't.

Sonny went on "When I'm watching a movie, I don't like to talk. At all. Even if I've already seen it. We can discuss it after if you want but I hope you can keep quiet."

Will nodded. Keep quiet was something he mastered. He grinned, ferociously happy to have a friend to share this with. The lights were switched off abruptly, like always. He had already watched that film. He wouldn't admit that under torture. And it was a good film at that. Made slightly better by a silent figure munching discreetly on his left.

They ate at the diner. Will didn't want anything but Sonny shared his plate and it helped.

"So, how did the muffins turn out? Did your little sister spit them out?

- No, luckily. Sydney loved them.

- Who's Sydney?" Oh, he had meant Allie.

- I have three brother and sisters: Allie, Johnny and Sydney. They're 10, 8 and 4." Sonny looked so much like an owl now, that Will pictured him with a pair of thick glasses and a collar.

- I hope I'll meet them someday then.

- You will if you allow Allie to have her birthday party at your coffee place. But maybe you don't do that kind of event... I know lots of kids together can be a handful, but it wouldn't be for too long. I've planned a treasure hunt after so..."

Sonny put his spoon down, forfeiting his dessert. He seemed to like food a lot. He tilted his head and asked

"You'll need adults to supervise this hunt?" Will nodded, prudent. "When is it?"

- In two weeks.

- Will she be 10 or 11?

- 10. It's an important number so we want it to be memorable.

- That's right! What did you do for your 10th birthday?"

Will closed his eyes. When he was almost nine, he had been introduced to his father. Who had taken him to a bar with his friends for each of his birthday. He knew better now, with Allie and dutifully took her to fast food places and theme parks. Sami had had to shout at him when Lucas had let Will try a beer at twelve. He remembered being disappointed. The stuff smelled great but tasted bitter, in a wishy-washy way. Underage drinking would not be his lot. He wasn't a problem kid. Just one on the side.

But Sonny didn't want him on the side. He put him at the center of his personal stage, unaware that it made Will uneasy. Each time he looked into Sonny's eyes, he felt his soul was punched. In a good way.


	5. Chapter 5

Will turned and tossed in his bed that night. Sleep eluded him and reading didn't help. So he lay in the moon's beam, replaying the evening in his head. He realized he had forgotten to ask what the map represented. But maybe, it was better that way.

Sonny's presence was pervading his life and his being and he didn't know how much room he should allow him. He seemed busy but every time Will showed up, he paused everything and focused on him. It made Will feel he was imposing but most of all, he was surprised. He wasn't used to be so important to someone. Before going to bed, he had taken his coat out and found a piece of paper with Sonny's cell number on it. The note said "Don't make yourself scarce."

Making himself scarce helped Will go on in life. But being next to Sonny was exciting. He was like a bright warm summer sky for Will to spread his wings and fly in. He caught the light switch. The note was on his desk. He typed the numbers one by one, his heart beating fast. He checked and re-checked. Sonny's handwriting was lazy. He must have used an uneven surface, the lines were trembling at places.

Will woke up with the sun and an orchestra chirping from the trees. He opened the window wide and looked at all the little colored musicians. The red bird had decided to visit him here. There was a robin too, with its red throat only visible from below, hiding it under grey and black.

"Will, they look hungry! We must build the feeder today!" Will looked down at Allie, wrapped up in a warm black coat, with her cheeks all red.

- All right, but let me get breakfast first. Where are Johnny and Syd?

- They're playing inside.

- Where's Mom?

- She's asleep.

The children argued on which color to paint the bird feeder. Finally they turned to Will who proposed:

"Bright red? That way they birds will spot it easily." There was red paint in the basement. Bought when Sam's last husband was living there. He wanted to paint the kitchen in bright happy colors. But he was gone and the room had stayed untouched. Will thought he could use the feeder as part of the treasure hunt. He had told Sami Sonny had proposed to help and she had smiled:

"Good. I'm happy we can make Allie feel special. She's so introverted..." Sami's eyes drifted to her son. Will felt she was trying to tell him something too. "And she's such a sweetheart you know. I want her to know she's loved, exactly as she is."

And that's what Will liked about Sonny, he realized, as he walked to the coffee-house the next day. He didn't ask Will to be different. He didn't try to convert him, make him 'cool'.

Will had found a book on birds at the library and he took it out as he waited at his table. He found the photo of the red cardinal and smiled at it when a sound made him look up. Sonny held a plate with a big light-green piece of pie in it. He put it in front of Will and took two little forks out of his pocket. He started eating without ado. Will whispered

"Hi."

Sonny's eyes twinkled.

- Hi. I'm glad to see you. I'm waiting for your opinion on this one. If you like it, I can put it on the menu.

Will frowned. Big responsibility.

- What's in it?

- Limes.

- What if I don't like limes? Will you still serve it here?

- You do?" Will chuckled. Sonny sounded disappointed.

- No, I was just asking. Let me try."

His fingers went for the extra fork and bumped on Sonny's wrist on the way. There was a thin bracelet on it and Will grazed it dreamily. He caught himself and quickly grabbed the utensil, trying to act nonchalant. Sonny pushed the chair back and stood up

" I have to help customers. You can tell me what you think later on." He went to the counter. Before he talked to the couple there, he turned his eyes to Will and grinned. Will felt his throat, that was contracted a second ago, allow him now to taste the pie. He took a bite.

When he had finished eating, Will waited again. He took a clean napkin and opened it then wrote with the small pencil he carried in his pocket:

'On the menu, this lime pie, fresh, exotic and delicious, made in our own kitchen by baking wonder Sonny...' Sonny what? He had his number but not his first name. It didn't matter, he wanted to make him smile and the pie was actually good.

Sonny was now talking with a dark-haired tall guy. They were looking in his direction and laughing. Will didn't want to interrupt so he stayed seated. But Sonny came back, introducing the newcomer:

"Will, this is Chad. He's apparently a caffeine addict, so it seems he'll be there a lot... Chad this is my friend, Will." The words echoed in Will's head long after they were uttered. My friend. My.

Will shook the man's hand who said

- Hi, Will, nice meeting you. I think I must have seen you already." Will smiled politely. The guy was vaguely familiar. He looked a little older than him so he ventured

- Maybe in High School, but I don't think we were in the same year.

- Oh, yeah, must be it!" He sat next to Will and started talking, mostly to Sonny. Will slowly hid the napkin and crumpled it.

He liked Chad. He was a chill, funny guy, interested in indie music. He spoke with a loud voice without effort and Will felt the familiar feelings creeping in his bones. As if someone had taken an eraser and was brushing him into oblivion.

He tried joining in the conversation but he spoke too low. Sonny wasn't looking at him anymore and Will understood why. He was being replaced by someone who was better company. He was used to it and it still hurt like hell. He sighed. It was time to bow.

It was easy to leave, his good-bye wasn't even heard. Sonny and Chad were joking about a movie he hadn't seen. Will hesitated at the door. He didn't want to flee. But hurting and feeling yourself disappear wasn't how he had planned to spend his afternoon. It was OK. He would go back to his books, to his studies, the children. As he walked through the park, he had a moment's wonder about his sister's birthday. He had liked the idea of Sonny helping but now he wanted him to know he didn't have to if something else came up. He would understand. He took out his cell phone and typed it, his first and surely last message to him.

Not to let the tears come out, he took out his computer and worked on his next essay. The words danced in front of his eyes and he forced himself to focus. This was important, this was for later, when the world wouldn't accept mediocrity, when he would need the best marks to make it some way or other.

But as the minutes passed, he found himself doodling on the papers next to him. He remembered his lime pie note and started writing a little story about it, shaped like a restaurant review that subtly gave hints of secrets and tensions between the employee of the fictional kitchen. At some point, he fished in his pocket to retrieve the napkin and put it with his writing but his fingers were unsuccessful. He had left it there.

Just at that moment, he got the text. He jumped on his chair and took a few deep breath before opening it.

'**Thanks for the menu wording, I guess I can use it. And it's Kiriakis. Sorry you had to go. Care to go out again this week? I have Wednesday night off.**'

There were two path in front of him. One was dangerous and could end up being a dead-end. The other one was familiar, shaded by bird-bearing trees, one of solitude and security. His answer would make him choose one. He closed his eyes. Another text was announced.

'**Can I beg or is it not a good idea? I feel like I ignored you a little and I'm so sorry. Give me another chance?**'

Of course, the thing with dangerous paths is that, in general, they were the ones with the better view.

'**I'm free at six.**'

The last message sounded like the orchestra of birds of the previous day:

'**Great. You like meat pie? I'm feeling inspired.**' Will laughed. He was intensely relieved.

On Monday night, after walking in the dark from the bus station, Will stopped to get something warm. He pushed the door and saw Sonny talking with the other barista. She was grinning. She spotted Will and whispered to Sonny who turned briskly. There was something new in his eyes and his smile. A softness and something like... humility, maybe? Will joined them and Sonny said excitedly:

"Hi, Will! Good news, I've just hired someone new." Will smiled back, happy to see him happy.

- Great! You sure need that. The place is full every time I come in." Sonny nodded.

- That way I won't get mad at Ellie that much, I guess." The barista laughed and left them to empty some tables. Sonny added:

"In fact, you've met the guy. That's Chad. I was telling him yesterday that you were a non-paying customer and he asked me if I intended to make profit if I was so friendly." That must have been why they had laughed. Will blushed. Sonny went on "So I told him you were special and he'd better make his own friends pay. Giving free stuff have to be approved by the boss.

- So you gave yourself the permission, nice.

- You're complaining?

- No" said Will, the 'special' customer. He was busy analyzing the word while Sonny went behind the counter.

- I've got something for you by the way."

He handed Will a folded paper. It was a map of the neighborhood. Quite precise and recent enough to mention the new fire station a street away.

"You could use this for the treasure hunt. Kids love maps. I must still be one, I love them too.

- Thanks. That's perfect. I owe you.

- It's OK, I'm glad to help. What's the treasure?

- Sweets, I think. Or maybe chocolate candy bars. Oh, by the way, we have to talk about the birthday cake. When can we do that?

- Now is fine. Come in the back."

It was true, Will felt special when he passed the door labeled 'Personnel only.' He didn't stay too long, he was helping his mother with the kid tonight and dinner time was approaching fast, but the moments he passed in the coffee-house gave him the beginning of a new confidence. And it had a name: Sonny.


	6. Chapter 6

His course load wasn't important on Wednesdays, so Will was home early. Sonny finished his shift at 7, so Will sat down in front of his books, then in front of his computer, then took a shower, then walked outside and watched the kid run in the garden as they played tag and checked the feeder to see if the birds had used it, then came back and made coffee, then sat on the couch and turned the TV on, then gave up. He was going to be early at the coffee-house. As in two hours early, and with nothing to do, as he had finished his last book and the library wasn't on his way.

He came and felt disappointed. Sonny wasn't in the room and Will sat, wondering why he was reacting like that. He felt unbalanced, maybe because he was giving up his inner independence and entering a friendship with someone who was ready to make efforts for him, a completely new experience for him, and that made him worry that he would fail. Talking to a depressed stranger had been easy, because of the role he was playing in it, the compassionate and objective ear to someone's problems, but now Sonny wanted to "hang out" a lot and while Will had hated feeling forgotten, he was still uneasy. So much that he didn't notice the state of the napkin until someone pointed it to him. A young woman had sat that on the opposite chair and was smirking. He looked down and saw that the ink from the pen he had taken out instinctively, was soaking the paper. Apparently he had been scribbling all over. He chuckled and so did the woman. She asked

"Nervous much?

- It seems so. I was deep in thought actually. I didn't notice I had company.

- Yeah, sorry about that" she answered in a tone that wasn't contrite in the least. "The place is packed. I'm thinking of coming back later actually, at a quieter moment."

Will looked at her more closely. She had long dark blond hair and blue eyes. Those were like steel and he wondered what fracture made her like that, what her sad story was. He felt guilty for thinking that. People's pain was private and searching for insight wasn't a compassionate thing to do. She didn't look like she wanted to confide anyway, so he was relieved to see her stand up.

"I suggest you ask for a new napkin.

- Thanks, I will. Along with something to eat, I think.

- Is the baking good here?

- Yes, it is. I'm not an expert but it is delicious.

- Well, not surprising I guess..."

Will shot inquisitive eyebrows but she turned and left. However weird the conversation had been, it had been a good distraction and he spent the remaining time making up silly reasons in his mind about what she had said, or what her past was. He quite liked the theory that she had been stood up for a date and was trying to hide it by saying cryptic things. It didn't explain the eyes, though and he shivered when he remembered them. However pretty she was, she didn't look appealing. He was again snapped off his thought but this time by an offering. He smiled at Ellie and decided she would get a tip, any way, then started eating the blueberry muffin. He closed his eyes and savored it. When he finished, he gathered the remaining crumbs with his finger.

Sonny had arrived in the meantime and when Will spotted him, he seemed deep in thought, looking in his direction but not really watching anything. Will smiled and walked to the counter. He dished his wallet from his back pocket and took out some change that he put in the tipping box. Sonny frowned

"Do you know you're not supposed to tip owners?

- I'm not tipping you, it's for Ellie. She deserves it for always being nice and thoughtful.

- And I'm not?

- So, you _want_ a tip?" Sonny smiled and shook his head.

- No, I want your time. Starting in five minutes. But before that, I have a question to ask. If you don't say yes, it's fine, really, but I'll be really happy if you do." Will looked at the counter, the nervousness creeping in again.

- OK, what is it about?

Sonny tapped on the counter excitedly and asked

"Do you like watching baseball?

- Ohhh... Yes, sure.

- Really? Are you saying that to be nice or is it true?

- It is. I'm not a hardcore fan but I like watching a game now and then. Why?"

Sonny didn't answer and beckoned him to the service door. Will followed through, feeling very, very light, almost like floating. The walked up to the apartment door and as they came in, Sonny caught something off the coat rack. He handed Will a baseball cap and put another one on his head. They sat on the couch and Sonny grabbed the remote

"It's this afternoon match, so if you tell me the score beforehand, I will have to kill you.

- What a great host you are, I'll be sure to avoid coming if you're so threatening." Will answered tongue-in-cheek, touched that Sonny had waited for him to watch it when he was free the whole day. Sonny pressed the wrong button. Will laughed at him swearing and panicking and waited a bit to offer his assistance. He fixed it in a few seconds. Sonny relaxed and they watched for a while.

When his team started loosing, Sonny lost some of his excited energy. He stopped blabbing and joking and looked at the screen silently. Then he turned to Will and asked

"What is making you smile like that?" Will shook his head. He wasn't sure if he could tell Sonny everything that went through his mind. But Sonny insisted, gently and he whispered

- There are times, like now, when you look like an owl.

Sonny's eyes went round, making him even more owlish. He didn't look offended and Will sighed. Sonny shoved him and noted

"Hey, I'm not the one wearing glasses, here.

- Owls don't either. They look pensive, though, as if trying to understand something profound or something.

The match went on, to its sad defeat but Sonny didn't really watch it anymore. He took Will to the kitchen and made him lay the table as he took out a dish from the fridge and put it in the oven.

- It's just reheating. It won't be long. You're not too hungry?

- No, it's fine, I had a muffin earlier. Liked it a lot.

- Yeah, I noticed." Sonny took the chair and scooped it next to where Will was sitting. He put some salad in their plates. Will started eating, content. He liked how informal the evening was and the way Sonny's eyes sparkled now and then. He wasn't tense or brooding and Will liked that he was part of what made Sonny better.

He came home with a contented stomach and a quiet mind. A fluffing sound made him look up. He could make up two round eyes and wondered if it belonged to an owl, but the bird stayed prudently silent, so he couldn't say.

He spent Friday hunting for places to hide clues and writing them. The hard thing was to get them to children's level. Not too easy, not too hard. In the evening he walked to Common Ground to get Sonny's opinion about them and also to talk about logistics. He came in and sat at the counter. Chad was waiting on customers, looking aloof and efficient. He greeted Will and they exchanged a few words, then he let him with a smoking cup.

Will was sipping it, his feet tapping the wooden surface of the counter's side, when he heard a cough. He recognized the woman. She looked even more strung than the first time he met her. She sat and asked for a latte. Will wasn't interested in a conversation but she didn't really care.

"He's such an ass...

- Sorry?

- My ex. I came here to discuss with him and he's never here. Typical.

Will smiled at how his theory was quite near the truth and she must have taken that for an invitation to continue and exclaimed

"And it's not as if I didn't know he's seeing someone else, anyway! That little slut, I wonder how she looks like? Probably all cute and stupid, I'm sure."

Will knew a bitter tone when he heard one. It reminded him of his mother after her divorces. She rebounded, she always did but she still complained. He tried to look away but she insisted

"I'm sure if he saw me with a new man too, he'd regret it. Realize what he's lost and all."

She put her hand under Will's chin and before he could process what happened, pulled him to her for a kiss on the mouth. Will's arms, useless because she was a girl and you don't fight them, ever, flayed around, uncontrollably. He was about to tell her off, when he heard a gasp. He looked around and saw Sonny, distress on his face and hands trembling. He shut in eyes and stood up in disgust. The woman shouted:

"See, Sonny, that's how I kiss, remember?"

Will ran out, tears blinding him. He ran to the park and stopped to catch his breath then sat on the cold bench. He felt the angle of a book against his butt and took it out his coat. It was the book about bird watching. He opened it and started reading.

'Cardinals are social birds in general, even open to other birds joining their groups. They can be quite aggressive though in defending their territory. During mating season, they leave the group for a mate.'

"Will."

'the male birds tend to their partners' needs until the eggs latch. They can have in general two to four babies.'

"Will."

If he focused enough, the world disappeared. And he ceased being a crying grown man, alone on a bench, as long as the reading went on.

The book was shut.

"Will, we need to talk."


	7. Chapter 7

Will refused to look up. He didn't want to hear the accusations, not when he was that shook up. Hours spent dreaming about a first kiss and this is what he got? And he would have an argument, the next time his mother would raise the subject with him. Being kissed by a woman was like seeing a nice little bird and hearing it sing completely off-key. Disharmonious somehow.

And he had been a pawn to her, too, in her war against Sonny. Was it the "ghost", who had threatened suicide? Kind words for such an angry creature. It was like being bullied by a dragon. He waited for Sonny's words. Ready to get up and leave.

"I'm so sorry, Will. I hope you don't feel hurt."

- I'm not hurt Sonny, I'm mad. Do you know that happens to me, sometimes too? I don't know when you entered the room but I was barely listening to her. And if you're afraid I liked it, don't worry, it was far from the truth. I want to puke. I know you feel bad for her and all, but I'm afraid I can't."

Sonny's eyes were so soft, when Will finally me them, that he felt even angrier. What was going on in his head? He sighed and remembered the postcard.

- I won't take her side, Will. What she did was vile, especially because it was you... In fact it's my fault it happened, so I understand that you're mad at me. I'm the one who left, the one who lied. So many times.

- What did you lie about?

- About how I felt, about who she was for me. I want her to realize I'm not worth all that angst, that I'm just one guy among others and she can find much better, but she's stubborn.

Will shrugged

"Here is another lie, then, cause you're not just one of the guys, you're much better than most people. You're not fair." Will didn't make much sense of the words that were coming out of his own mouth, but Sonny stopped being soft-looking. He touched Will's arm tentatively and gave it a tender brush, just as Will was speaking again "In fact you lie all the time, don't you. When we met, you said you had no woman in your life..."

- She isn't in my life, Will, we're not even friends. It's just that I feel guilty at times and she tries to use that."

- I'm not talking about her, Sonny." Will was feeling the bitterness pervade his cells, invade his mouth. "Your new girlfriend, the one she was jealous about. You don't talk about her. Are you ashamed of her or of me?"

- I don't have a new girlfriend, Will. She was my last one."

- So, it's someone you have a crush on?" He didn't understand at all. Who wrote that letter?

- Well, I... Yes, there is someone. That makes my days brighter and life much easier to bear but Crystal doesn't know about it." Sonny was certainly not lying now. His face was open like a book that had been read too much. He looked frightened. Will gathered his thoughts, tried and make connections. It was so hard to analyze reality. His own fictional word was easy and followed his will but real people like Sonny were a puzzle he couldn't solve.

- Who's Crystal?

- The girl who kissed you.

- And phoned and wrote you.

- The letter is old. I kept it because sometimes it feels good to be reminded of having been loved, even if it was all wrong. And I won't apologize for that. You don't know my life."

Will felt cold and tired. He crossed his arms on his knees and whispered

- I don't ask for apologies, just explanations. I'm part of this, now, even though I didn't want it."

Sonny knelt and took Will's hand in his. There were no spasms this time. It helped.

"Crystal and I broke up a while ago. We were teens back then and I was struggling with who I was, I felt different. We were together for a year, but it never was really... physical. I have lived my life since we broke up and it turns out, she came to live here because she found out that I would. I think she called my mom or something like that. I had to listen to her, be very firm and be yelled at... and then you sat next to me and..." Sonny's eyes finished the sentence somehow.

Will didn't know what to do. He had no business asking about this crush. Sonny wanted to keep his secrets and given the circumstances, it made sense. He felt bad for all he had said... demanded. Sonny was a red bird to look at and admire from afar, but not expect too much from. He would soon fly away to another woman wanting most of his time and Will finally agreed to that. He and Sonny would be pals, watching films or games once in a while but he had to be intense in his need for friendship. It wasn't as if he could ask for more, Sonny did treat him as someone he cared a lot for.

The melancholic one-note bird song came from the trees above and Will decided to listen and go to sleep. To make peace, he asked:

"I'm going home, it's just round the corner. Can you walk with and finish this conversation? I feel bad, I really do. I don't want to lose what we have."

But even though Sonny followed him, he didn't say anything else and looked at his shoes the whole way. Will didn't press him and started unlocking the door when he heard some indistinct words. He turned and frowned. Sonny repeated

"I'll be out of town, next week. I have a conquest to make. But when I'm back, I'll take you dancing and I'll teach you all the steps I know. And you better say yes." and he was gone.

Allie's birthday was a success. Will checked for the presence of the deranged ex when, they entered the coffee-house, but she never showed up. Sonny made the kids laugh and gave Allie a gift. Something twitched Will's heart for a second. Each adult took a pair of giggling ten-years-old with and took the group to a different location. So, after that, he barely saw him. He sent a text to thank him for being a great friend to him and to Allie. He didn't get an answer.

The snow was covering the ground and the children were crazy with delight. School was even canceled one day and Will skipped class to build snowmen with them. A robin perched on the hat and sang merrily, then noticed the feeder and flew quickly to it. Will took out a board game for the rest of the afternoon and made hot chocolate. Syd gave him a sticky kiss on the cheek and he tickled her until she shrieked.

He was fine, in a dull way. Sometimes, he hardly felt his limbs, at others, he took out his cell, looked at it and put it back. Sonny would contact him when he'd be back. The evening, when his mom went to put the kids to bed, he took out his notebook and poured his heart on the paper. On it, he lay the feelings of being forgotten, of being different. He wrote his hopes and despairs and his needs, which were few and all began with one thing. Being wanted.

The next day, the white turned grey and all nuances of dirty. It was freezing and Will stepped into Common Ground to say hello to Ellie and finally manage to pay for his drink. He tapped his boots against the wall and pushed the door. There were few people, here and there. At the counter, he saw the back of a man wearing a climber's backpack. The equipment was peeking out and Will felt a twinge of admiration, tinted by his strong fear of heights. He saw Chad and Ellie walk to the counter. Chad put his hand on the man's shoulder and whispered to him. Then he waved at Will.

"Hi, Will." The spasms were back. And Will didn't really care. Sonny was sitting here and he looked tired and peaceful.

- Hi, how did the conquest go?

- Great. I hadn't climbed in a while and being on top of mountains is one of the best feelings ever. How are you doing?

- OK. I'm glad to see you.

- Why?" Sonny asked bluntly. Will was taken aback but answered as honestly as he could.

- I missed seeing you, I guess. It's been a while."

Of course, he didn't pay for his coffee. Which was good, because he didn't drink it. Sonny grabbed his arms and took him to his apartment's door. Will came in, taking in the mess. Sonny put the backpack on the couch and just said

"Stay here." Then, he went to his bedroom.

Will waited, feeling like a bird in a cage, but not knowing what the key to freedom what. Ten minutes later, Sonny was back, having changed clothes and shaved.

"You looked nice with that beard."

Sonny was looking better but he must have lost his smile on that mountain. Or his teasing ways. He looked grave and his eyes were the only part of his face that was dancing.

"How nice, Will? Why would you say that?" He took a step to Will, making his heart feel encased in his chest. Will mumbled

- I don't know, I just... I wasn't mocking you. You know I wouldn't.

- I do. And I have to know Will. Do you think I look good?

- You look better, more tired, but less stressed and...

- No, Will, that's not what I'm asking.

A gentle touch of the hand, like a robin hoping on his shoulder, a shade of night in Sonny's eyes, a pull to press their chest together and Will's heart started singing. Sonny's mouth was opening his, with a sweet determination. Suddenly, it all made sense. Here was what he was looking for, here was the wanting, the tenderness. Will joined in the kiss slowly, his lips taking their wings, absorbing the sensations and all the emotions Sonny was sending. Now, he wouldn't argue with Sami about this. Because it wasn't theory any more. It was his life and it was just beginning.


	8. Chapter 8

Sonny had put his forehead against Will's. His eyes were closed and he was breathing heavily. For all his strong male body, he felt frail in Will's arms, vulnerable. Will felt his heart had taken a leap from a mountain cliff and was now gliding above wonderful sceneries. He didn't dare move. The moment was precious and fleeting. He had never kissed anyone, never been a boyfriend. He lacked practice and it would be something else Sonny would have to teach him. Unless he was mistaken and Sonny didn't want anything serious. Was that possible?

Sonny was immobile too. Will hoped he had answered correctly to the kiss. He didn't want Sonny to think he didn't want it.

"Sonny?

- Shhh." A hand brushed his cheek and rested on his back. Will breathed in, a smile spreading on his face. Sonny opened his eyes and whispered:

- God, you're gorgeous!

- Thank you."

He should say it back. Or maybe not. He could decide how he wanted to be a boyfriend. Apparently Sonny wanted him, not a cooler guy. And what he wanted to say was:

"I liked that kiss. Thank you." Sonny grinned. He put his thumb on Will's lips

- You don't have to thank me. I'm glad you're OK with it, though. I wasn't sure how you would respond.

- I didn't expect it. I'm not used to being wanted that way."

Sonny smiled.

- I've wanted to kiss you from the day we met. But I needed to know you before, make sure we both went along apart from the attraction... At least the one I felt." Will's lower belly felt cavernous and spasmodic again, as it his blood flow had lost its way out. This was attraction, he'd just been told. He had pictured it as a more... intellectual feeling. Like finding the solution to the crossword and being so damn happy. But this was about overwhelmingness and it was somewhat scary.

"I think I feel it too. I mean, I... I do. Since that day as well." The way Sonny exhaled was adding to Will's enjoyment of the moment. He seemed to have too much air in his lung and not to know what to make with the surplus. So, it would travel in his skin, making it shiver slightly, like the leaves of the birch tree under a light breeze.

Sonny kissed him again and this time Will was floating. It wasn't a long kiss, rather a smooch and it left Will wanting more. He carefully leaned towards Sonny's chin and bumped into it. He pushed back the embarrassing feeling and pressed his lips softly on Sonny's mouth. Sonny moved his arms. Will felt himself twirl down and land on the couch. Sonny was encircling his shoulders. Will hesitated. That was a lot of contact. He slid back on the cushions, intent on making things clearer.

"Sonny?

- Yes?" Sonny had a hungry look in his eyes. Will wanted to go home now, to reflect on what had happened, replay the memories, sort his feelings. But he didn't want to push Sonny away and make him feel bad or frustrated. He admired the risk his friend had taken. If it had only depended on him, they would still be dancing their way around each other. The analogy gave him an idea to project the relationship in the future.

- You said you would teach me to dance. Do you still want to?" Sonny had a mischievous smile.

- More than ever. But only if you want to.

- Well, I don't think I could do complicated steps but yes, I would like to. So that I can dance with you."

Sonny accepted the offering and let Will stand up.

"Can I call you? Or text or something?

- Sure. I'll be looking forward to it.

- Really, Will?" It was difficult to take care of his own insecurities when Sonny was displaying his heart like that. Will had a bruised soul and he wasn't sure how much at a time he could let Sonny touch one of the inner scars that had made him such a cautious man. He resisted the urge to say something soothing, that would bring up a smile and chose honesty

- Well, it's all very new and a little frightening. Can I call you instead. Maybe tomorrow?"

Sonny looked at Will gravely, then nodded. Will took his jacket and said

"Have a good night then. You must be exhausted from your trip.

- I am. But it was worth it. I have found something there.

- Really, what?

- Plenty new birds. I saw nests in crevices and I heard concerts when I woke up in my tent. And each time, I wanted to talk with you about it and you weren't there. So I came back, to be near you again."

Will turned to the door, the tear following it's path along his chin. He was beginning to worry. Why couldn't he be more joyful, carefree? But again, when had he ever been?

His mother was reading a report when he came in. She didn't look pleased with it and Will wondered how she behaved at work. Every time he came home, he offered to help with the kids or the chores. But now, he needed the quiet of his room. He hung his jacket over the brightly colored ones (the brighter one was hers. She was never one for discretion or dull.) and gestured upstairs. She frowned but nodded.

There was no nightly sound in the room and it felt empty. Will sat at his desk and put his head in his hands. Somewhere in his mind, he was thrilled. He could still feel the kiss on his lips and again, it was the right kind of one. On the other hand, though, he was now responsible for someone's happiness, at least for a while and he didn't like even small responsibilities. His siblings were his flesh and blood, part of him forever so the efforts he made for them always seemed easy. Sonny was challenging him all the time, even when he wasn't the one asking.

He did what he was good at. Writing. Putting down his feelings helped and made him realize their depth. So he closed his notebook and lay on the bed, his cell in his right hand. He typed '**I like you. A lot.**' and sent it quickly. He put the phone on the bedside table and started dozing off. He was woken up by the lonely note of the big night-bird and sat in his bed, felling better that things were back to normal. Another note answered the bird, twice. He took his cell in the dark and brushed the words on it with the side of his thumb '**Thank you. I think you're the best.**'

His alarm rang the next day, directly in his hand. He focused on his phone and remembered the texts. For someone who wrote so much, he had been laconic. But barring his soul to Sonny felt even more impossible at the moment than barring his body. And yet the possibility was becoming real for both things. In a nearer future than he could have thought. He was grateful that it was Sonny who made him do that transition to emotional adulthood. He trusted him not to cheat over his feelings for him. And so, Will closed the door and walked in the early morning street lights to the coffee-house for a morning call.

Chad was at the counter and greeted him with a nod as he finished helping a frantic customer who kept barking in a phone. He looked up again after the man left and grinned widely. He pointed to a table. Will sat next to the window, feeling excited and exposed. It had started raining on the muddy snow and the fog was enveloping the houses and trees. It would be a quiet morning for the birds.

He heard the back door and Sonny came in, beaming, and walked to his barista. Chad seemed to be teasing him, pushing his elbow playfully. Sonny shrugged and took two plates. He stopped near the chair next to Will

"Excuse-me sir... Is this seat taken? Are you waiting for someone?" Will smiled. This game was easy.

- I am. He's very handsome and gives memorable kisses. Would you have seen him by any chance?

- I might, but given the description, I should wait for him myself." Will pretended to get up and felt a hand on his shoulder.

- Unless it's me, of course, in which case, I am very willing to provide fresh deliveries of this kisses.

- Actually, I have class soon, so it's just a quick hello. This muffins look good, though, can I take one to go?

- Will...

- Yes?

- Stop asking."

But Will did ask. For a new kiss after all. Sonny gave three. He whispered in his ear, just before Will left

"So, tomorrow night?

- Tomorrow night, OK. What time?

- Eight?"

Will nodded and walked out to the bus station. He turned and saw Sonny's silhouette in the window. His cocky red bird, with his spiky hair and his sweet efficiency. His.


	9. Chapter 9

How was is possible for simple kisses to have such a cheering effect? Will was used to his melancholic state and here he was, happy beyond belief, feeling light and different. He was still nervous but it was bearable. One of his concern though was what Sonny would plan to do on this date the next day. He was a man who climbed mountains, who was outspoken, who wanted to dance. Will felt he was making giant steps, eager to meet Sonny's expectation and he had to remind himself to stay true to his nature.

What he was sure about was that he was grateful. For Sonny to show him he was desirable, that he was worth it. He wondered what he would be bringing in exchange. Maybe he could write him something...

He put the kids to bed, pecking kisses on Syd's cheek and spending a few minutes talking with Allie. Johnny wanted a story. He closed the door and went to his room. Should he write an email? He didn't have Sonny's address. So, it would be a letter. He took his headset and looked for a deep, emotional but quiet song. He sat and stared at the blank paper. Should he be cautious? Poetic? Rough? He closed his eyes and pictured Sonny walking to him, intent on kissing him for the first time. That very moment Will's heart had twisted. That moment he knew himself and things made sense. Maybe he should start with that. He wrote for half an hour, then yawned and went to bed. The unfinished letter lay on the desk, his most important piece of writing.

He didn't finish it the next day and left the room wearing the deep blue shirt he got the previous year at his birthday and had only worn once. The air was warmer so he just put a jacket over it. He didn't want to put too much effort on his appearance, as it was something he easily forgot completely, but he still wanted to see Sonny's eyes twinkle when he would see him. He had put off leaving to a few minutes too late, helping with the chores and talking with his mom, learning all about her new boyfriend, keeping his own a secret for now.

He walked directly to the back of the coffee-house, the back of his knees trembling a little. He wanted to start the evening with Sonny on his own, only for him. Was it good to want that? Was it selfish? Sonny opened the door and it didn't matter. His eyes did twinkle and his smile opened a door in Will's heart from which a tiny blue bird started singing happily.

Will waited on the doorstep, for a second then remembered Sonny treating him like someone he was close to, from the start, letting him in his intimacy. So he just walked in and took off his jacket. Sonny coughed and walked to the kitchen. Was Will going to get new muffins? It seems it was all he was eating these days. But Sonny grabbed his keys for the counter and wiggled them. So much for spending time alone. Will turned to take back his jacket but Sonny was faster than him and gently helped him with his sleeves. He leaned to Will's face and placed a delicate kiss on his lips. Will smiled and asked

"So, where a we going?

- You'll see...

- Hum, you remember you didn't actually teach me how to dance ? So if you were planning to...

- Don't worry we're not going to dance."

He had pictured Sonny with an old secondhand car and was surprised to see a brand new dark station wagon. Sonny let him in and sat at the wheel, his whole body turned toward Will who said

"That's a nice car.

- Thanks. It's a present from my parents. It's been weird using it, last time I drove, it was a european stick very small car.

- I did drive stick, my... my brother's father has an english car and I learned how to drive on it." He had been about to say 'my ex-stepfather' but it sounded weird. Sonny nodded and started the engine.

Will planned on explaining he didn't like being in the dark, about anything, even for a well-meant surprise. He looked nervously through the window, his hands on his laps. Sonny was silent mostly. Will glanced at him. His face was a careful blank.

"Are we going far?

- Why?" He was still wearing the blank expression. Will didn't know what to make of it.

- If we do, we could listen to some music?"

Sonny tapped on the CD player button and the local radio started playing. Will wasn't found of their musical choice but could not let go of his shyness. What if Sonny felt he was being too snobbish? He wasn't, not really. He just was very careful in his tastes and didn't adhere to hype. He took his time and stayed faithful. He guessed he would be like that in this relationship too.

Sonny parked and turned his still-buckled torso to Will.

"OK, Will, did I do something wrong?" The direct question was even worse for Will. But he had to answer.

- Not really, I'm just not used to dating. Or going out. I would feel better if I knew where we're going. I'm sorry, I guess you wanted to surprise me but that's not really easy for me.

- I see." Sonny looked grave now and Will waited, his insides remembering him he was attracted to him like hell.

Sonny unbuckled and took Will's hand in his, gently. He whispered

"I'm not used to dating you, either. I'm not sure whether you're in or not." He sighed. Was he criticizing or just explaining? His tone was neutral. He went on "In fact, earlier in the car, you were like a little bird, nervous and cute and I felt that if I cracked the window open, you would have flown away and leave me there.

- I wouldn't leave. But I'm shy."

Sonny grinned.

- I'm aware and I love it. It is endearing and it makes me want to be a better person so that I can keep you.

- You don't have to change, you're a great guy. I guess we just have to know each other's boundaries and expectations. One of mine is that I like to have music. Soft and harmonious if possible.

- So if there are no birds around, you switch to digital?

- Yep!" Will was smiling broadly now. Sonny let go of his hand to get out of the car.

They entered the Asian restaurant. It was an all-you-can-eat. So no need for complex interactions with waiters. Given how young his siblings were, Sami had rarely took him to fancy places and his father was a bar type of person. Will liked that Sonny was keeping it simple. He said so and even kissed him lightly on the cheek. Sonny kept his smile plastered on his face for the rest of the evening. It was a little frightening and quite thrilling for Will to realize he could gather such reactions.

He didn't eat much, even if it was quite good. He was busy looking at Sonny but also at the other customers. He remembered his piece with the fake restaurant review and wondered if he had kept it. Which reminded him of the letter...

He expected Sonny to drive him home but he took them to his apartment. Will was feeling comfortable enough to joke

"I'm not that easy, you know." Sonny chuckled loudly

- You're not? That's too bad, then, I'll have to go to plan B, then.

- What is it?

- The dance lessons I promised you."

Sonny was a good teacher, patient and sticking to simple steps. Will worked on being less stiff and managed quite well as Sonny's touch was very light, more friendly than lusting. After an hour, they were swirling around in harmony to the soft latino music in the background. Sonny suddenly stole a kiss and Will's knees gave way. He was kept from falling by a firm grip and it felt good.

"I really have to go, Sonny, I have classes in the morning.

- I know. When do I get to see you again?

- Tomorrow night? I can pop in for a few minutes." Sonny pouted.

- I meant for another date?

- This week-end? The house will be kid-free.

- And it's a relief?

- Actually, no. It feels empty.

- So you need a distraction?" The tone suggested jesting but the voice was trembling a little. Doing the reassuring felt new.

- I don't. But I want to go on a date with you. And I can't when I have to help my mom.

- What about tonight?

- She finished early. She tries to leave me space to live my youth." This time Sonny shook his head.

- Why am I not surprised you need to be reminded of that? OK, let's say Saturday, then.

- So you don't want to see me tomorrow?

- I want to see you every day. I want to touch you, like I just did while we were dancing. I need to have daily reminder of my great taste in boyfriends and of my insane luck."

Will left soon after. Part of him wanted to grab a blanket and snuggle on the couch with his boyfriend (apparently the term was official now). Part of him wanted to finish the letter. It would be easier to communicate his feelings that way. He had a feeling it would help Sonny to know those. It would help him to sort all of his heart out.

He put the paper in an envelope and placed it next to his wallet. Should he post it? Leave it at Sonny's place? Hand it in person?

The house was silent from all the inhabitants' slumbers. Will listened to the music of his Sonny-filled-heart and fell asleep lulled by its lullaby.


	10. Chapter 10

The snow had finished melting during the night. The sun was low in the sky, sending harsh hot rays in Will's eyes. He came back in and looked through the living-room drawer to find his sunglasses. They were prescription, like the classic pair. He could see correctly without them but if he took them off for too long, he started having headaches.

"Hey, Will!" Will turned, startled. Chad was waving at him from the other side of the street. Will walked slowly to him, rehearsing greetings. What had changed in him that not only Sonny but his employees all liked him and wanted to talk? He reached him and nodded, his hands still in his pockets. Chad started walking again, headed to his work place.

- So, my girlfriend Mel and me, we're going to a concert in two weeks. I remembered when I talked about that group you seemed to like it. So, if you and Sonny wants to join us, it could be fun!

He had been to a few indie concerts before, on his own. The music had to be really good to make the anonymous crowd bearable. He wondered if Sonny had talked about him to his barista. They seemed to have bonded quite fast, and now Will realized a few things. Sonny made new friends easily. But he had never wanted to be friends with him. His whole behavior had betrayed his interest. It was just that Will didn't want to see.

"You think Sonny will like it?" For instance, he didn't know his boyfriend's taste. Maybe Chad didn't either.

- I guess, I think he's quite open-minded. Not die-hard music fan though. Have you heard him sing?"

Will grinned. The two men exchanged a merry glance. Chad was really nice, no wonder Sonny had taken to him like that. "Anyway, he'll go if you do. I think he'd follow you in hell."

Will turned his head on the side to hide his blush. Chad pushed the door and went straight to the "personnel-only" door. He patted Sonny's shoulder on the way and pointed to Will with his thumb in the same motion. The interior looked a little dark, in contrast with the bright daylight. Will locked eyes with Sonny and forgot everything else for a minute.

He stood in the doorway, while his boyfriend walked to him, taking his apron away and raising his hands. He gently took the sunglasses and it was much easier to see, all of a sudden. He got a kiss on the nose, but Sonny kept the glasses in his hand and turned to Chad who was already taking care of orders.

"I'm off! See you later and don't mess up the accounts this time."

Chad shook his head, laughing. Sonny walked out and pulled Will to his chest. He gave him a real kiss on the lips,then raised the sunglasses, then stopped and gave another peck. Will waited patiently. He was feeling light and happy, and also grateful for some time with Sonny he didn't know he would have this afternoon.

"You look really good with those on.

- I have blue eyes. I can't stand direct sunlight for long. I'll only wear them outside. They're very dark.

- So, if I want you to keep them on, I'll have to find something to do outdoor." He crunched his eyes and grinned. Will would have stayed where he was, staring at Sonny's eyes, rendered even darker by the sun filters. He might be frightened of making dating faux-pas or taking things further, but that very moment was what he had waited for all his life.

They walked to the car. Will sat and bravely took a CD out of his jacket. It was the one he had written the letter to. He wanted to lend it to Sonny but first, he put it in the car's CD player. The quiet melody made Sonny smile.

"Looks like I have a new boyfriend, the other one used to be shy."

Will looked at him gravely and whispered:

- You _are_ kidding, right? Because if you mind, I mean, it's your car, I understand..." Sonny's hand landed on his, stroking softly, like a wing.

- I am. I like all kinds of music and I want to know what you like.

- Chad was right, then.

- Why?

- He invited us to a concert with him and his girl. I'm surprised he asked me instead of you. You're his friend." Sonny's eyes were shaking slightly and over-flowing with kindness.

- He wants to be yours, too. When we talked about you, he said I should go for it because you really seemed great and I would regret it." Will must really had been good at hiding his feelings, then, if Sonny needed a push.

- Sooo, I should thank him?

- You can, but I would have tried anyway, maybe a little later. The more I know you, the more I want to spend time with you. Like now. By the way, where are we going?

- What?

- You're the one living here, aren't you? Is there a place in the country that you like best?

- Oh. Hum, there is, but in winter it's not the same.

- OK. Shall we drive back to town?

- Wait. We could go and walk near the lake I go to somewhere with my brother and sisters. The weather is really nice and that way, we can be alone." Sonny released some blocked air from his lungs and asked:

- You really want to be alone with me?" OK, Will had to give him that letter.

He supplied the directions. They drove in semi-silence. Will tried not to look too much out of his window, so he studied Sonny's profile. He had very straight features and Will finally saw why they called it a Greek nose. The skin was much darker than his, even without the sunglasses on and the hair looked thick and unkempt.

They parked and strode to a little path that circled the small lake. Most of the trees were leafless but they were still inhabited. The birds were happy to feel the sun's heat and chirped with gusto. Sonny looked up, his smile wobbling. Will put his hand behind Sonny's neck and kissed him. After a moment, a tongue came to meet his. Will jumped at the lightning bolt that aimed like an arrow to his belt region. He didn't stop the kiss and accepted the return of the spasm in his belly. Both his hands had their palms pressed and their fingers intertwined with Sonny's.

They resumed their walk and sat under a willow tree. Will took off the sunglasses and didn't replace them with the regulars. He sat crossed leg and fished for the letter in his coat. Sonny took it, perplexed. Will lied on the long grass, focusing on the nearest bird song, instead of the loud beating of his own heart. He heard the rustling sound of the paper being turned. Sonny was completely silent. Will replayed the words he had written in his head, wondering...

"Sonny,

I wanted to thank you, again. And tell you what's in my heart, because there is a lot there, it just cannot reach you at the moment. I'm a lonely soul. Growing up has been its own weird adventure and it has left me cautious. But with you, I've gone further than I ever could, from the start. When I saw you on that bench, looking defeated, I took a risk and I'm glad I did. Every minute I've spent with you have been peaceful, filled with respect and I hope you've felt the same.

I don't wish to go too fast, though and I hope you'll agree to it. Your presence has cast a sunshine on the shadows where I spent my life, I don't want to lose that, I want this to work. When you kissed me, it felt perfect, because you're a man and I needed the answer to the questions I had about that, but also because you've let me into your life, because I feel comfortable in your presence. And because my body feels different when you're around. I feel embarrassed talking about that, though. I had never kissed anyone until this month and while your ex at least showed me that girls were out of the question for me, I still feel weird about it.

I don't know how dating works at all. I'm frightened that I may get burned. I trust you, I'm just asking for patience and acceptance. I hope I won't disappoint you. It is exciting to start this discovery.

You know how I love nature... I've always compared you to a bright bird, the one with the cocky air and the little crest, the red cardinal. It's energetic and efficient and, from what I read, very loyal.

I like that we are boyfriends. I need it to be exclusive. I like that you grin after I've kissed you. It makes me feel like I'm flying. I like your smile all the time, how it complements your eyes to tell about all of you without any words needed. I like that you're so direct when you're not sure of what's going on. I like reassuring you.

I don't know if you think this kind of letter is a good thing or if it's "uncool" but I hope it's not the latter, because I am pretty uncool myself (I don't like going to clubs, I don't follow fashions in general...). If you do like it, don't feel obliged to write one back. We are different and I'm fine with that.

I'm quite busy with classes at the moment, so if I say no to a date once or twice, know that it is because an exam is nearing and I'm fully focusing on it. Even my mom knows better than to insist I help at those moments.

I'm aware you're quite busy too, so if you want to call or text or email, don't hesitate. I'll write my email address at the end of the letter.

Your boyfriend, Will"

There was still no reaction, so he sat up and saw Sonny looking at him. His cheeks were glistening. His hand caught his coat that was lying next to Will's. Will was a little disappointed not to get any feedback. Sonny opened the inside pocket and took out the letter signed by his ex. He tore it in half and threw it in the water. Then he carefully folded the new one and put it at its place. He mouthed 'Thank you' and crept nearer to Will. His arm went around his shoulder. Will lay his head in the crook of Sonny's neck, watching the light reflected in myriad ways on the water before them, wishing this moment to be absorbed in his heart and become something he could come back too, whenever he would feel down.

A king fisher was diving in the lake repeatedly, its little wings whirling at high speed, its beak carrying large fishes. Will chuckled.

"This one has a nice crest too. It could use a brush." He raised his hand slowly and let his finger roam in Sonny's own crest.

- Will?

- Yes?

- You want to go to that concert? It's up to you. I'm happy to be where you are, really."

Will reflected. He didn't know Chad's girlfriend and as Sonny had proven it, nice guys sometimes went out with toxic women. Of course, she could be sweet, like his cousin, Abby. He recounted all the small victories he had achieved recently. He could give it a go.

Sonny had to close the coffee shop and do some rearranging in the back room, so he took Will straight to his mother's house. He went to the door with him and asked

"You don't have your own car?" Will shook his head.

- I can't afford one. I talked with my mum and we decided I wouldn't take a job to pay for my studies so that I could be rested enough and still help at home. She lets me use her to take the kids somewhere. I take buses to my classes, I only go out in the neighborhood and for the rest, I tend to live in my head, so...

- So,..." Sonny punctuated this with a kiss "Now..." another "You have your private chauffeur..." and a last one.

- Looks like it. I've had summer jobs, though so I can pay for the gas sometimes if you want.

Sonny's eyebrows were as severe as his smile was playful.

- No way.

- Can I pay for the concert tickets, then?

- OK."

Will kissed him and went inside. He had found what he could teach back his off-key man. How to appreciate good music. Not just the kind birds produced. And maybe how to sing a little better...


	11. Chapter 11

Will entered the coffee place as the evening was turning dark. It was busy inside, but in a quiet way. Chad and Ellie were going back and forth, with cups or wet clothes to wipe after customers, their aprons fluttering as they strode. Sonny was preparing an order, chatting with the customer waiting for it. He never seemed to make an effort to be friendly. It made Will admiring and slightly envious.

There was a new decoration on the wall opposite the counter, a photo of a bird. Will walked to it quietly, letting Sonny finish the transaction. It had a pink crest and a plump white body, like a snowball with dark coal eyes. He heard:

"It's a cardinal..."

He turned to his boyfriend and was greeted by a wide grin. Will whispered:

- Is it how the female look like? I thought they were greyer.

- Nope, it's a male too, just the pale kind. I saw this at the bookstore the other day and it made me think of you and your cardinal comments. I thought, if you were a bird, you might be like this one.

- "Plump?" Sonny chuckled and brushed Will's cheek:

- No, discreet. Harder to spot and yet so beautiful." His voice was raspier and Will shivered.

He stood there, waiting for what Sonny would do next. He saw him take his apron off and hold out his hand. Will took it, trembling and followed him to his office. It was small and cluttered with drawers and folders. There was a frame on the desk and Will got a glimpse of a smiling couple. It was weird that Sonny had met his mother and his sister but he didn't know anything about his family, not even where they lived.

He pushed the thoughts away when Sonny hugged him, then kept him in his arms and kissed him. His knees felt absent, the only thing supporting him was his hands, placed on the wooden surface beneath him. He felt some of his defenses crumble, each time Sonny's body came closer to him.

Sonny sat in his chair, looking up at him, his eyes drinking him in. He rummaged the pile of papers until he found his cellphone. He raised it and asked shyly:

"Can I... ? I need a wallpaper.

- So?

- I don't have any photo of you, to look at when I'm tired or stressed.

- Oh." His picture could help with that? He didn't like posing or even appear on photos, so he tended to be the one taking them. Or he walked away quietly. This time he couldn't. He turned his lips into a grin but Sonny frowned and put the cell down.

- Maybe I should wait a little. Not a good light in here..." Will sighed softly. Even Sonny was realizing he wasn't photogenic. He wondered suddenly what he was attracted to in Will. His looks? His personality? What if Sonny was only dreaming about an imaginary boyfriend and he couldn't measure up.

He didn't want to be here anymore, all alone in that tiny room. He needed to be somewhere more familiar, where they could recapture their comfortable intimacy. He asked

"Your shift will be over soon?

- It is over. I was helping with the rush. You want to come upstairs?" Will nodded. Sonny started walking, his hands hanging at his side. Will felt like he was tumbling down. What was going on? Could dating stop this quick? Was Sonny going to tell him this was a mistake?

He thought about the letter as Sonny was hanging Will's coat next to his. It was there, nested against Sonny's heart. He had written down his insecurities, the ones no one knew about. He trusted Sonny with it but was it all in vain? He hadn't open up about everything, there were things he prefered buried, but it was till rough. Especially the fact that he didn't know where they were standing. He could be completely reading Sonny wrong or he could have his heart crushed in a few minutes, seconds if Sonny's worried eyes were an indication. He sat on the couch, nervous, his stomach twisting. He was the one needing reassurance now. Or at least an explanation, anything would be better than this uncomfortable silence, that even the memories they had made in this apartment could not make better.

Sonny sat at the table and raised his eyes to Will's. He took a long breath and asked:

"Is there something wrong?" Will frowned. What did he mean?

- No, there isn't. Why are you asking?" Sonny looked down again, his hands neatly folded on his lap.

- I don't know, you seem so cautious, like you don't really want to be around. It isn't the first time and I'm never sure. Sometimes you smile like you do when you're watching a bird sing, with genuine happiness and sometimes you look like you want out. I just wanted a picture for myself, not to boast or anything, I swear. I've spent the last days counting the minutes till I see you again and you didn't call or text. And you look so solemn...

- Well, neither did you! You didn't even take my hand downstairs and we were alone. Are you fed up with me being shy? I can't change in a few days. One of the things that I like about you is that you didn't ask me to, you accept me even though I'm dull and introverted.

- You're not dull, Will! You're the greatest guy I've ever dated. I've dreamt about you every night since we met. But in my dreams you're more...

- More what? Physical?" Sonny shook his head again, looking defeated.

Will looked at the gorgeous man seated a few feet away and something struck him. It was going to be hard to say it, yet it needed to be said. He closed his eyes, focusing on an image in his head. The little red cardinal bird that he had spotted a few times now, and the white one on the photo. Same species but very different individuals. Singing a song in disharmony. Maybe before teaching Sonny how to sing, he should fix that. He whispered

- It is something I struggle with a lot in the past and I had come to peace with it. Now you're challenging it with your words.

- What?" Sonny's voice was strung. Will kept his eyelids close and explained:

- It's hard for me to believe you. It's not that I think you're lying but maybe you're trying to make me feel better and that means you're awesome, really. But I don't need this. It's OK, I know I'm not gorgeous or fascinating. Just say honest things." He finally looked at Sonny. He had stood up and was walking to the couch with prudent steps.

- Is that why you looked so tensed earlier? You feel you don't look good on photos?

- You've met my mom. She's fantastic and always looking at her best. I am barely a shadow in life. It's hard to see a shadow on a picture." Sonny sat on the edge of the cushion. He took one of Will's hand in his, tenderly. Will felt his throat hitch.

- You are exactly what I look for in a guy, on the outside and the inside. I could lose myself in your eyes. I have troubles refraining myself to …."

- To what?

- Make you mine..." Will felt his pelvis get a life on his own, moving forward on the seat. This part of his body was accepting Sonny's advances eagerly, it seems. Will bent a little and captured Sonny's lips. He felt, once again, Sonny's desire and also his need. He was grinning after that.

Sonny didn't lose a second and pointed his phone at Will's face. He smiled at the result and watched the photo for a long time, his eyes dreamy. Will understood something. Sonny wasn't going anywhere. By total luck, Will had made him his. He fished in his pocket and took out his cell. He typed 'Let's kiss again. More seriously, I have lots to learn.' The message beeped and when he saw it was from Will, Sonny turned to him. He was still beaming and Will took the picture. He didn't look at the result, as Sonny wrapped him in his arms and started teaching him how kissing and caressing could go a little further.

It was easier when he let go of his fears. Sonny was respectful, delicate in his movement, his hands staying mostly on Will's back. Sometimes, one ventured on a thigh, short-circuiting Will's brain. He tried to mirror it and Sonny groaned in the kiss.

He nested himself in his boyfriend's arms. He could feel his breath on his hair. There was a whisper in it:

"Your letter...

- Yea?

- If you feel like writing others... I had no idea I could feel like that, ever. You're precious, you know. I really want you to be mine.

- I am yours." Sonny's chest inflated, lifting Will's head up.

- Wow."

They ate in silence, this time because they didn't need to talk to feel connected. Afterward, Will asked Sonny to open his laptop and chose a song that would be easy enough. They spent half-an-hour working on Sonny repeating the right notes. It was only partially effective, as each time Sonny failed, he asked for a kiss, and each time he managed, Will congratulated him with another one.

Then Sonny changed the song and got Will up.

"It's your time to learn, mister. Show me what's left of the steps we worked on the last time."

Will walked on his feet, giving his answer. Sonny swore and had them take off their shoes. Now the socks bumped against each other, resting on the other one's ankles or toes.

"Where do you come from?

- Lots of places. I was born in Texas, but I grew up abroad.

- Really? Where?

- In Dubai. My father was a lawyer there.

- Is he still practicing?

- Yes, but they're living in the States now. What about you? Do you see your dad often?

- I used to see him every two weeks but not anymore. We've never been close. He's a good dad to Allie and that's great. You may have notice how cautious and fragile she looks. I love all my brothers and sisters but she's the one that makes me want to protect her the most, you know?

- I do. You have no idea." Will remembered his mother's remark, about inviting Sonny. Things were different now, but why not.

- Would you like to come at my house on Saturday? Allie would love to see you again. She could show you the bird feeder she helped make. It would be nice to have you at my place for once."

Sonny hugged Will in a strong grateful embrace, murmuring "Yes, I'd like that. And until, then, you have to promise to call me, every evening. OK?"

**Thank you Joel for the picture you sent me. I felt it fit right here.**


	12. Chapter 12

Will had troubles sleeping that night. Not because Sonny would be coming here in a few days, nor because he said all these sweet things. All this actually helped. He was nervous, because he could remember his feet bumping against Sonny's sock, as they were dancing, escalating his ankles and each time he did, his spine shook.

He got up and attempted to write, but his mind was blank. The overpopulated, noisy house had reached its point of quiet and solitude, leaving him with no one to take care for to take his mind off this. He sat back on the bed, rubbing his feet on the wooden edges. It had a narrow frame, not to take too much space in the tiny bedroom. This was not how grown-ups slept, though, he knew that. He had never been to Sonny's bedroom but he was certain he owned a double bed. And right now, he was sleeping in it alone because he was waiting for Will to be ready to join him in here. And Will wanted to, very much, but he was trembling at the thought. It was too soon, and it was also all what he could think of.

He got dressed, warmly enough for an early spring night, and walked into the light of the street lamps. The neighborhood was tranquil, he was never afraid to walk at night, although he only did during summer, when the air had cooled off, leaving a wonderful sensation. He had been feeling like that, these days, when he came back from his dates, a fresh air that still carried memories of burning heat.

He wandered alone but he knew where his feet were leading him. He took the time inhaling the scent of the trees in the park and peered at the firmament, to see if he could spot a few stars, as he walked in darker areas, but it was all a way to postpone the inevitable.

At the door, he felt silly. He had just spent the evening with Sonny and now _he_ must be asleep. He had long hours of work the next day and it wasn't as if Will had suddenly gotten ready to make it worth it while. It was more that he was nervous and nothing was curing this. And if he was honest with himself, he wanted other touches from Sonny, feel his reality, his heartbeat against his chest.

He chickened out and dragged his feet around the building. At least the walking around might tire him a little. His eyes caught a ray of light. He stopped and looked at the lit window. His brain was wide awake too and started calculating against his will. It had to be Sonny's bedroom. So he wasn't sleeping either.

Will's hands were playing with his cell in his coat's pocket. He went back and sit on the stair's first step. He could see the stars from here, but it was too late. He needed to do something else.

'**Hey, you're awake?**'

He waited. The answer was so quick it already gave him the answer

'**Yes. I'm reading. And you?**'

It was taking all of Will's provisions of daring spirit to type.

'**I miss you. A little too much.**'

Sonny took his time to reply there, but Will had plenty empty minutes to offer. The cell beeped.

'**You could come. If you want.**'

'**I'm already here.**'

He didn't move, drained from the effort, the excitement, the throe coming from the spasms. Now they didn't need Sonny's physical presence to manifest, just the promise of it.

The door creaked. Sonny turned the porch light on. He wasn't in his pajamas, which was sensible in this cold. His thick jeans rubbed on Will's knees as he sat close to him.

Will smiled shyly in the semi-dark. Sonny didn't smile back. So it was a bad idea, he had crossed a line, and now he needed to apologize. He started working on a little speech in his mind, pushing back the begging, focusing on staying light, but he didn't get to say it.

Sonny's mouth covered him.

His lips felt liquid, wider than he remembered, his tongue entering Will's mouth and stroking his own tongue. Will surrendered to the intrusion. It was like a dream, and as they couldn't sleep, at least they could dream along.

Sonny didn't press further. He lied uncomfortably with Will on the steps and they looked at the stars, pointing at them, letting their chatter zigzag on some vague convoluted paths. Will's back ached a little, from feeling the metal through his jacket, but his body was imbricated with Sonny's and it was OK. It was a weird moment, not a date, not being busy or even focused and it was perfect.

They heard the birds waking up one by one. Soon, they were competing for who was the loudest and the malest. Will appreciated fully he didn't need to be dominant or in competition with Sonny. His inside were burning up but he let them be. He felt beat, but still not in the mood for sleeping. Unless it would include having Sonny's leg around his like that.

When it was time for breakfast, Sonny gave him a peck and slowly got up. Will bore with the loss of touch and oscillated on his numb limbs. He looked into Sonny's shining eyes and didn't detect exhaustion, only sheer happiness. He kissed him back and followed him to the coffee-house kitchen.

Sonny started working, while Will sat at the table, being forbidden to help

"Unless you want to wear one of those baking a hair net, too, and look ridiculous.

- Well, you're wearing one and I don't feel like mocking you.

- Really?

- Yes, really, I like seeing you cook. You're talented. I'm in awe."

Sonny had stopped. He had gulped, then he had resumed the baking. While the muffins and cookies were in the big oven, he served the coffee. It was the first time Will was served it on the other side of the door. He was past being a special customer. He was now in the wings, an extra that could go wherever he wanted.

Of course, he still went to college and fought sleep, giving his darndest to understand the lectures. Sometimes the words he heard turned into nonsense, as if he was only half-awake. This had to be a one-time thing. It was important to study, to be independent. Where would they be if Sami had only relied on her men to pay their bills? With Johnny and Sydney's father, they had live in luxury, but it hadn't last. That was the lesson. Work before pleasure, security before feelings. And being extra cautious, always.

He remembered Sonny's requests and called him in the evening, just before going to bed, at 8 pm. Sonny was yawning on the phone and they chuckled. Will didn't tell him how hard it had been in class, he didn't want him to feel guilty for something that had felt so great. Instead, he told him how he missed the bus back home and was offered a ride by one of his teacher, who drove like a maniac and he almost had a heat attack. Sonny laughed and told him about some weird customers who had started picnicking in the shop. Apparently they had brought soup. It was so easy talking with Sonny, it had always been. Will hung up. When he opened his eyes, it was Friday. He had slept like a baby.

The day went easier, which was good, because the children were in great form in the evening, running around and doing mischief. Will loved them but sometimes he really felt like a second parent. He would have loved having someone nearer his age.

He told his mom about the visit before they went to bed. Sami smiled and nodded. She didn't ask so he didn't clarify they were dating. He was resolved not to kiss Sonny in front of her, he would coach him into it if he had to. He would see how it would go. She could be harsh and insensitive at times and there was no way he would let her drive Sonny away. Will needed him, needed to hear his voice, so he called again, to tell Sonny Allie was impatient to see him. He could hear the smile in the answers although he couldn't see the eyes. After the call, he stared at Sonny's photo on his cell screen. He brushed it with his finger and sighed. Sonny had reeled him in and he didn't want out.


	13. Chapter 13

Sami wasn't in a good mood that day. Each child got an earful before lunch and she even snapped at Will when he asked her if he should cancel Sonny's visit.

"I can behave in company, young man! Are you afraid I'll embarrass you in front of your friend?

- No, mom. But I don't want to stress you. Looks like your work week was hard, you need a quiet week-end."

Sami looked at him, frowning, then took his hand.

- I'm sure Sonny won't stress me, darling. He was so sweet at Allie's birthday party. In fact, if you two can take care of the kids, I'll even have time to finish my work on my laptop."

It wasn't exactly what Will had in mind, but he agreed. Sami looked more tired than crossed and he hated that. He would have given up his whole love life, if that could help her cope in life.

He had wanted to surprise Sonny and he and the kids had worked on a cookie recipe. Sami had been forbidden to enter the kitchen, not to see the disaster until after it was all cleaned up but the cookies looked eatable if a little burned on the edges. Syd had patiently put chocolate chips on each one and Johnny and Allie had only eaten four so far, when Will wasn't looking. The cookies ended up in his bedroom until Sonny's arrival.

He was busy reading them a story when he heard the doorbell. Syd was up and running before he had the time to ask her to wait. She opened her mouth wide and ran back to Will's chair, hiding behind him. Will shook his head and got up, wondering how to greet Sonny, is he couldn't kiss him. They had never been formal. He placed his hand on Sonny's shoulder and pressed it tenderly. Sonny grinned and shook the kids hand solemnly, offering a finger to Syd who was gaping at him. Allie was chuckling and Johnny started tugging on Will's sleeve, presumably to remind him of the cookies, when they heard a noise in the stairs. Sami looked better and Will realized she must have taken a nap.

She greeted Sonny with genuine pleasure and Will felt proud of Sonny. He had brought some flowers for her and a little bag for the kids.

"What is it, what is it?" Johnny started tearing it. Will put his hand on his and shook his head.

Sonny explained:

- Bird seeds, for your feeder?

- Yeah! Come in the garden to see how it looks. We did it all by ourselves.

- I know, Will told me. Lead the way."

The cookies were produced proudly, at least by the children. Will wasn't very happy with the result, although given how good Sonny was at baking, it was not a fair competition, anyway. He looked at him nervously as he tried one and sighed of relief when Sonny met his eyes and nodded.

Sami had joined them again and prepared some tea while Will served juice to the children. She left again later and Will followed her to the stairs.

"Can you tell me when you're done mom? I'd like to show Sonny my room and chat a little.

- OK, sure. I'm glad he came today, he fits so well with our little family." Will smiled. Sami smiled back with a little smirk.

- And you know, you can kiss him in front of us, it's no big deal. Johnny and Allie might make some yucky noises but you know how it is at that age..." She brushed Will's cheek and he remembered to close his mouth.

- How did you know?

- From how you were looking at each other the first time I met him. You were right you know, being with a guy is good for you. You smile more easily."

She kissed his nose and walked upstairs.

Will found Sonny with happy family cards in his hand, looking very serious and careful not to look at Sydney's hands. She was still working on how to hide them and often forgot about it. Will walked behind the dining chair and kissed Sonny's temple. Sonny got distracted and asked for the wrong card. Johnny won and Syd asked for another round but Will proposed they go for a walk. It was always a good idea to tire them before bed time.

Once outside, he laced his fingers with Sonny's. It got him a soft look and a discreet peek. They reached the deserted playground and sat on a bench to watch them run around yelling at the top of their lungs.

They were still holding hands and Sonny asked:

"So, you've told your mom?

- I didn't need to. She's OK with it. She likes you a lot.

- Like mother, like son?" Will nudged him softly. Sonny looked happy. When Will let go of his hand to help Syd with her coat's zipper, he waited a bit, then put it on Will's thigh. Will took a breath and looked for a distraction.

"So, did Chad get the concert tickets?

- He did. I asked if his girlfriend was OK double dating with gay guys and apparently she doesn't mind at all. He's more concerned about me embarrassing everyone by my ignorance over music.

- I'll make sure you don't sing and it should be alright..."

Sonny gave him a sharp look, then caught on the teasing. He kissed Will's cheek, his hair brushing his temple.

Johnny called them from the other side of the playground. He had found a bird on the ground. It looked wounded. Too much to be helped and Will hugged his little brother tightly, making sure Syd was still playing and hadn't notice anything. Sonny looked bummed. It was strange to see him lose his efficient manners for a change.

They walked back to Sami, who had met her deadline and looked more human. Johnny wept on her knees while the girls went to play with the doll house. Will finally took Sonny upstairs. He felt terribly young, he who was still living with his mother and just had a small bedroom to present.

Sonny looked around and saw the cardinal photo on the desk almost immediately. It was a bright red in a red frame, about the only bright colors in the room. Will wasn't very much into decoration or displaying his tastes, even in music. He had a big stack of CDs but no posters on the wall and the bookshelf was plain and messy. There was a shoe box that he filled with all his writings and it was starting to overflow.

Sonny sat on the bed and tapped the mattress next to him. Will's knees went weak. His boyfriend was warmly clothed and his hair was messier than ever, yet Will's inside disagreed with the invite. He hated being like that, feeling so afraid. He tried to recapture the magic of the night they had spent together on the stairs, remember the deep kiss, how great it was. He took a step and bent his face to Sonny's mouth. They lay on the bed, still kissing, their hands on each other's hip bones.

"You were good with your brother this afternoon. I felt useless, he looked so sad."

Will pinched his lips.

- I didn't like the sight, but yes, I'm used to comforting them. When he was a baby I learned how to calm him down when he was crying.

- Poor birdy... I wish I had know you at Johnny's age. You must have been cute as hell, like him.

- Well, he's my half-brother, so that's not sure at all." Sonny's mouth twisted a little. He sat up on the bed and walked to the window.

- It's night already, I should go.

- Oh, OK. Thanks for spending the afternoon, it was really great. I hope you weren't bored."

Sonny shook his head but looked absent-minded. Will waited. After a minute or so, Sonny mumbled

- You know, if your mom doesn't mind, one day you could... I mean, one night...

- Yes?

- You could stay at my place?

- Like the other night?" Will was about to tell him how much he had liked it but Sonny said

- No." He looked straight into Will's eyes. It was getting difficult to breathe. Will focused on it, then searched in his head for what he should answer. There was a little war up there and no side was clearly winning.

- Maybe. I'll tell you when..."

Sonny looked defeated. Will didn't want him to leave like that. He got up and hugged him tightly.

"I'm in love with you."

Sonny broke the hug and took a step back. Will started eating his lower lip until he saw how Sonny's face lit up from within. He kissed Will, then kissed him again, then whispered:

"Thank you. I love you too. So, so much."

They walked down the stairs slowly. Sonny went to say good-bye and thank everyone, including Johnny who looked better and was eating the last cookie. Will handed him his coat and walked him outside.

He looked at the silhouette fading in the dark, hearing the words echoing in his head. Allie had joined him and looked a little sad. Like brother, like sister too.

- You know we could go there Thursday afternoon. I'm sure Sonny will be happy to see you again.

- He will? What if he only want to see you?" Will looked at her, frowning. Her face was as tranquil as ever, yet he heard the doubts.

- He'll be happy to see us both. Like this afternoon, he said he had a great time with all of you.

- Then why was he looking upset when he left?" Will didn't reply. Allie was smart but it was hard to explain, even to himself.

- He had a lot on his mind. You could make him a nice card, like the one you did for grandma.

- Will you write in it? You're better at it.

- I'll help you."

he had left his cell on his desk. There were two texts. One was long, one was three-words long. The first one was planning their next date. The second filled his heart again.


End file.
